30 October 2007

I am Done with Compromise

"In a relationship, when does the art of compromise, become compromising?" Sarah Jessica Parker

"We all have a childhood dream that when there is love, everything goes like silk, but the reality is that marriage requires a lot of compromise."Raquel Welch

So who is right? Sarah or Raquel?
A man I adored had this saying as his mantra, 'Life's a compromise', he would say, frequently. It never sat well with me. I am a win/win or no deal kind of person. However I went along, thinking perhaps that way is right. I wondered, maybe I'm stubborn, unco-operative or difficult to get along with? The compromises didn't work out. It drained me. I was never quite happy with the compromises. I find some are laziness in regards to ourselves, leaving both involved dissatisfied.

"If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is compromise." Robert Fritz

If you take the time, communicate the truth and remain open to other solutions, you can usually find something that meets needs. If you can't and that is continuous, I think you are in the wrong place. The truth is, if it is only half what you want or some other mix, it usually isn't what you want at all.

"Don't compromise yourself, you're all you've got" Janis Joplin

Today I was offered a position very similar to the one I applied for at my school. Same wage, same type of job, different location. I have promised my son I would not work at the school he now attends, which was exactly where this was. I would consider working there in the future. He has one year to go. I had to turn it down. I may not get a leadership position now.

I feel really good about my decision. Had I accepted the compromise, I would now be trying to convince my son, it would be OK. I would be hoping it would be OK. I know this is not the kind of start I would want in a challenging new job. I love what I do now and am happy to keep doing it.

4 comments:

Andrew said...

Your's is a timely post for some things I'm going through right now.

This quote seems to fit me at the minute, "Better bend than break." It's a Scottish proverb.

Joh said...

Bent, broken, same but different.
I don't know what you you are refering to, but I'd think carefully about exchanging something I want now for something that is not quite what I want.
There's always exceptions though. Sometimes decisions are just little baby steps on the path to what you want.
Hope it all works out well for you.

Kat said...

congrats on the offer Joh -but moreso on turning it down, what a strong decision :D I'm happy for you.

Joh said...

Thanks Kat, I felt peaceful so I know that was the right choice for me.