31 March 2006

Lack of Stress Bad for You

I think not having enough stress in my life makes me just as tired as having too much. Alternatively I could be coming down with something. I have felt so tired this week. I love school though. My classes are very enjoyable. My year 9s this year are sensational and I really have enjoyed every lesson with them. The journals they are doing are amazing.
Tonight I have baked more biccies and they turned out even better than last time. I visited pa again and he is having a bit of trouble, but is so positive about the people treating him. I feel so proud of him with his upbeat attitude to this. He is such a great role model for me. He will be 86 in August and he never ceases to find the good spots in his life and tell you about them. It's pretty easy to be with him.

29 March 2006

Light in Darkness

When I visited pa yesterday he told me about the chemo he'd had. He said the nurses at the local hospital were fantastic and they treated him as a mother would treat you. This really touched me. My pa is 85 years old and his mother died when I was a baby. He hasn't had a mother for years and I felt so grateful to those nurses. I feel unable to help him at present. All I do is visit and listen to his stories, which I know is something, but you want to take away all the pain and trouble for those you love and it usually is impossible.

I realised that when people, like nurses, do their jobs with love, they are giving to so many. I reflect that back on myself and know that many parents feel concerned about their children at school and I hope I do my job with as much love as those nurses.

It's a new moon tonight. A good time to write out your goals for the month. There was also an eclipse that has been written about by all the astrologers so I won't go into it here except to say changes are supposed to be afoot. I have written my goals for the month. I strive to do this every month. Even if it is just to revisit my long term ongoing goals.

One of the astrologers I read (Yasmin Boland) advised to make a wish shortly after the eclipse, which was 9.11 in Australian time. I thought about this for a long time today. I used to make wishes with a lot more ease when I was younger. Having made plenty of wishes in my life and having had most of them come true, I am now a lot more careful about what I wish for. Sometimes the consequences of getting what you want are not exactly how you had envisioned it. I wished for more love on the planet. I think that's pretty safe, at least I hope so.

28 March 2006

Dark Mornings

Over our back fence there are chooks and a rooster. It gives a nice farm like soundtrack to our lives. This morning the rooster was making a big racket and I got to see him.

Due to Daylight Savings being extended it is really dark in the mornings. Whilst I like it a lot, it is going to be a real bonus to have that extra hour in the morning next week.

Today was better. I visited my pa, who has started his chemo and is feeling ok so far. I got lots of stuff done and I feel pretty happy.

27 March 2006


It was overcast here today and this seems to have set the tone for my day. Perhaps it was the sleeping pattern I had developed over the holidays, but I was tired and lethargic. I felt frustrated by the behaviour of many people around me today, but sadly not frustrated enough to bother doing anything about it. I feel tired and 'can't be bothered'. Perhaps it is the impending eclipse on Wednesday. Don't know.....
Ho hum....
Well, I think I'll get an early night and tomorrow can be a bright new day.
I have to confess I am smoking again. Quite regularly too. Have been for a week or so. Will try again soon to quit.
Went to chiropractor today. Was the best part of the dull day. I love that crunch and the relief it brings. Never thought the day would come when I would say that!

26 March 2006

Letter from Broken Hill

I got a letter and a gift of a book of poems from Broken Hill on Friday. The letter was from Marj, the lovely lady who was the caretaker of the house we rented. She gave me the recipe for the delicious jam drops she made for us when we arrived at "Hydrangea Cottage". It was a fabulous place to stay and I would recommend it to anyone intending on visiting Broken Hill.
I made the jam drops today and they are delicious. Just like Marj's! They were a little larger than hers though cause I had no idea how much they would grow in the oven, but next time I make them, they will be better. I was pleased with myself.
I got all the housework done and feel organised enough to return to work tomorrow.

25 March 2006

Garden State

The 'Garden State' cover is different in Australia to the one on the above website. I like ours better actually. It depicts a great scene from the movie.
The movie is awesome. Great movie, very funny scenes, touching issues and complications and the music is just what I am enjoying lately, Shins etc.
Yes it has been the high point of my day watching this movie.

Today has been a little bit of a struggle to avoid feeling those end of school holidays blues. I managed though. It's just a freedom restriction thing. I like being at school these days - Remember that! Yes, it's me talking to myself again.

Not going to the Park

Earlier in my life, I lived in the Berwick area on and off for around 10 years. I must have driven past Wilson Botanical Park literally 100s of times and never took the opportunity to visit. Today I was visiting old friends in that part of the world and my best friend and partner had an appointment there. It has changed heaps. I don't know why but I decided we should go to Wilson B. P. for a check out. It was amazing. A really beautiful space in the heart of the hustle and bustle of an overgrown village. If you live in that area you really should check it out and spend some time there.
You can see forever. It is refreshing to be out of the rat race and it is just delightful.
We shouldn't take these things for granted because our wild spaces are shrinking. There were very few people there, which is amazing considering how busy the rest of Berwick is. I hope that it always remains a sanctuary for the wildlife and people who do need to see nature.

23 March 2006

A good day was had by all

I loved today. It was one of those flow days when things fall into place and plans work for everyone. Here is a photo of a corner of my home that I particularly like at just that time when the sun comes in the window.

I made a bit of progress on a project I am working on today and found a few useful tools that will add a lot of value I think.

I rearranged appointments successfully so everyone got their needs met - I love it when that happens.

I made some good decisions about my mosaic. I haven't put them into action and I realised today there is not a hope of completing it before going back to work on Monday, but that's ok, because I want to do it properly. I am getting clearer and clearer about how I want it to be. I'm in no rush to get it right. I'm enjoying the process.

I'm feeling happy, creative and very grateful about my life. Just like I was when my daughter Asha rang to say she had a surplus of chocolate and could we help her out. Here's a picture of Tom with a mouth full.

I went for a lovely walk tonight and bumped into an old friend who I discovered lives just around the corner. It made me realise how far I have come in the last 10 years and how much I love my life.

I enjoyed window shopping. I prefer that to shopping in the daytime. The crowds of shoppers don't allow you to stand and stare. The lighting always makes things look better at night.

22 March 2006

Mosaic and mobiles

I am really enjoying working on the mosaic table I started 2 years ago. Two of our great art teachers at school ran a workshop for a group of teachers in their own time. It was really generous and helpful, but although they prepared me with the technique, until I had decided or worked out what I wanted to do, it was stuck.
I have also got a new mobile phone with a camera that I have been using to take the last couple of photo's I have taken. I know they aren't as good quality, but they are good enough for these purposes. I have worked out how to synchronise my mobile with my laptop via infrared and it is quicker and simpler.

21 March 2006


Went to Melbourne yesterday, not the city, the suburbs. We had errands to do in a couple of places and I found it to be similar to my previous experiences. Unpleasant! I am always pleased when I return home. Traralgon is getting busier, traffic wise and growth is expanding in all directions housing wise, but it is still a much prettier place.
Perhaps it was because it was a Monday, but it seemed depressing. The big shopping centres seemed falsely bright and glitzy. I really don't like shopping centres. I don't like the lack of natural light and air to breathe. I left the centres at both suburbs and walked around the CBD's and found them to be very depressing. Abandoned shops and grimy streets with too much noise and traffic. People rushing by with no feel of community, but perhaps it is just because I can't walk 500 metres in Traralgon without seeing a student or someone I know. That sometimes seems tiresome, but I appreciate it more after yesterday. People in rural parts stop and talk to one another, smile and give you eye contact. It's pleasant.

19 March 2006

Nothing to say

That's all .... I kind of made a quiet agreement with myself that I would attempt to write everyday during the holidays but I can't think of much to say today.
I visited with Brendan and got to wave goodbye to him as he went off to his new life. Yesterday when I visited he'd gone to spend some time with our grandfather, so I missed him. I didn't do his resume, he said he'd decided he didn't need one since he already has a job to go to and when that finishes up he'll be in touch.
I went to a jewellery party for my daughter. That was interesting enough I guess. It was at my ex husbands house with my daughter and the ex husbands girlfriend and her ex husbands new wife and my ex father in laws new wife. My mum and auntie came to keep me company. It was one of the rare occasions I have been invited and I was treated quite pleasantly so that was nice. I like it when we all just get along. There have never been any dramatic scene's though so it is all good. After all we are all just women, doing the best we can under ever changing circumstances. It seems so weird though. There were no exes in my life until I became an adult so I have had very few role models. My friends have been the best role models. Thank goodness for them.
Well I have managed to say quite a bit for someone who had nothing to say...

18 March 2006


My brother Brendan is heading up to Townsville tomorrow. I have 4 brothers and a sister. We are all very different and don't see that much of each other. Brendan is the brother I see the least of and he has lived away from the family most of his life. He has been home at my parents for a couple of months. He was living in NT. He is also quiet and hasn't got a lot to say. We have little in common and very different lifestyles. Yet being my brother means I can pop into mum and dad's and borrow his sleeping bag from him to go to school camp like I did a few weeks ago. He can ask me to type up a resume for him, which I haven't done yet, but will today. It is the same with all my siblings. I see my sister Kate the most and enjoy her bright personality and have quite a close relationship with her.
I know if I needed any of my brothers or sister's help, I would have it if I asked and they would in turn have mine. We shared a childhood. On Christmas day, most of us usually get together and laugh together about the memories. We phone each other sometimes on our birthdays, but not always. We see each other at extended family occasions. Our lives are not really entwined externally but in my heart they are.
There is a wide range in our ages from me (40) to Kate (24) so it makes our family life interesting. The six of us all have different lifestyles and jobs. It makes diverse conversation when we are all together. We find links through people we know and share stories about now and the past and enjoy being together. We can quickly resume our childhood roles and it is fun to do that occasionally.
I admire my parents their ability to let us all go and keep a good relationship with all of us without interfering in our lives or trying to control us. It is probably what keeps us all returning home willingly and happily. I hope I can be like them with my own children.

17 March 2006

How bizarre

When I put the last one on, the previous one came on too. Notice my really technical language there!! Ha. I feel kind of pleased about this cause I really have no concept of how this stuff works and trying to solve a problem could take ages and I don't want to have to do that. Yippee, problem magically solved. Must have been some Mercury Retro flicker.....what do you reckon? That's right I'm talking to myself! Oops I nearly forgot.

blog not working

I just wrote a post and tried to publish it. It didn't work! I am just going to write this to test the technology. If this works then I will have to look at why the previous one didn't and if it doesn't then I'll guess it's not that specific post that has the problem.

Leisure time

I haven't had time like this for ages and I love it. Andy has worked this week, the kids have been mostly occupied outside the house and it has just been Ella and I mooching around the house. I have It is great to have no set agenda and to be able to just potter about from one project or chore to another.
I have listened to Kate Bush. The family bought me the new CD Aerial for my birthday but they complain loudly when I listen to it, so it has been great to having it blaring with no complaints.
I have resumed work on my mosaic table and come up with a design I really like. Nearly two years ago I began it and managed to complete the border and then I was stuck. I had some ideas about what I wanted but no real clear vision. The other night in bed, it all came together in my head. Tom had been using the incomplete table for the computer upstairs and now that Asha has her own computer he has moved his into the desk in his bedroom. Ah the luxury of wireless! Anyway whilst I was cleaning up there I noticed the now vacant half finished table and thought, I must finish that, as you do. Then I got the vision in bed and now I am steaming along each night whilst I watch TV, crunching up tiles and positioning and I am delighted with how it is coming together. I will put a photo up when I have finished, but in the meantime, here is the photo of the mask I made at school last year. Another thing I said I'd do but hadn't got around to it.
It is like a spiral of completions. I have noticed this before, once you start making positive progress in keeping agreements or completing things, it creates like a current taking you further into that direction with more force and ease. It is a good spiral.

16 March 2006


I'm a Sagittarius. My moon is in Pisces and Venus in Mars in Capricorn. Jupiter is in Gemini. I am not sure about my ascendant because my mum can't remember exactly what time I was born. For years I thought it was Capricorn, cause I thought I was born around 7.30am, but recently mum said she remembers I was born at daybreak, because she heard the birds carrying on as they do just as the sun rises, as I was born, so this could be around 5.00ish at that time of year in Victoria. This would make me Sagittarius ascendant. Who knows?
I am a snake in Chinese Astrology.
Ok, I'll admit it. I love astrology. I consult it daily and although I promptly forget what I have read and doubt whether it is very accurate at times, I totally enjoy reading it. I wonder if it is the way astrologers write that draws me in. My two favourite ones are Yasmin Boland and Mystic Medusa. They are interesting and they explain away the craziness in some days. It's just fun mostly but I also find it helpful in understanding other people. It helps decode the patterns of life and there are definite star signs that I can be at ease with. My closest friend whom I have the most face to face contact with is born on the same day as me, different year though! She also has the same middle name, bit spooky. It is an unusual name too, so it's not like it was the favourite hit of the times. We often get to work and find we have had exactly the same kind of morning with our kids or our classes. We have both been in the decorating business before moving to education. The coincidences and similarities are funny and interesting and add to my conviction that there is definitely something to astrology. No matter what all the rational men in my life try to tell me!!

14 March 2006

Less is More

I have decided I am bogged down because I have too much stuff. I can’t keep up with the maintenance on everything I have. One of the simple pleasures in life for me is buying books, but since I have no more room on any of the book cases in my home and don’t want to sacrifice any more space to furniture, I have had to rationalise my books and other stuff around the place. As I have been going through my books I have discovered a number of books that I have two of. How insane is that. So much stuff that I don’t know what I have and then buy it again not realising I have it.
I used to be an interior decorator. I studied Feng Shui for a couple of years and wanted to be a practitioner. I loved Feng Shui, it made sense to me. The teacher Roger Green was fabulous and I hung on to his every word. I didn’t get the opportunity to complete my practitioner course as I sold my business and decided to become a teacher to be more available to my children, but I still apply much of what I learnt to my own life and have continued studying and learning about feng shui informally.
I remember I had a client once who asked me to ‘fix’ her space. It was overloaded with stuff. She had so much clutter and mess and it was all good and expensive stuff. She wanted it all gone and didn’t have time to go through it all and make it how she wanted it. She didn’t have time to sell it or sort it. She gave it all away or rather I did, to charity. She paid me large sums of money to do this before I could even start decorating and space improving. I remember thinking I would never allow myself to get into such a mess. I nearly have though.
I am going to think more carefully about what I purchase and I am going to remember that space has value.

12 March 2006

Feeling Ordinary

That is a mild way of saying I am not a happy camper at present. I don't know why even and that is annoying also. I have some theories. I have two weeks holidays right now and I should be ecstatic about that but I think they have come too soon and I am not organised for them. We are not going away and perhaps that is it also, but I like spending one holiday at home usually. I am going to put it down to just one of those flat times and let it be ok and hope it passes soon.

05 March 2006

Bunny deprivation.....

Poor Ella... the neighbours have a pet rabbit that she's not allowed to eat.
When we were at Rushworth I witnessed Ella chase and kill a rabbit. I saw toddlers and mum next door chasing the new family pet around the court and the scene flashed back into my mind.
Andy wisely decided he and Ella should go next door and meet and greet. When they returned I heard that Ella wanted to taste the bunny and Andy growled and Ella has been miserable all afternoon.
We will have to keep the gates closed now.....

What would the world be like without poverty?

It would be a totally different place. For there to be no poverty, so much would have to change. I am thinking about that today.

03 March 2006

What I loved about smoking....

I haven't smoked for 2 days. I feel - different. This is my 9th attempt to quit. I have tried hypnosis, nicotine patches, tabs and cold turkey. This time I have reduced my smoking over the last six months and I am quitting cold turkey. It is not so bad really to be honest. It is only 2 days though I guess. I want to be done with smoking for a lot of reasons. I want to be healthier and I want to live a long life. I want to allow my family to have relief from worrying about my health.
I loved stepping outside and smoking though. i loved looking up at the stars at night or sitting in the sunshine and enjoyed being outside smoking. I loved the pause that smoking gave me. The little time outs to do something I perceived as being for me. I know the reality though is that it is the worst thing for me and it doesn't calm me down, but actually stresses me out and I hope this time I will be done with it forever.
I have let go of many other self defeating habits and this is possibly one of the last really dangerous ones I have. I take good care of myself these days except for smoking.