Home for Christmas

I arrived home this afternoon. My house is beautifully clean and looking good. My son and mum have looked after it well whilst I've been away. My family (most brothers, sister, kids and parents) had their Christmas lunch on the weekend. I missed it! I feel relieved that I don't have to do a big family Christmas tomorrow - I'm so tired.

My kids are at their dads until lunchtime tomorrow. I am going to the parents tomorrow morning for breakfast and to open the pile of remaining presents left under the tree for me. I saw this postcard on Post Secret and felt pretty sad for this lady. I remember when my kids were younger, it was a bit of a struggle to celebrate without them, or even to know my ex had to when I had them. I never had to cry alone though, so I feel very blessed. My family were always there to support me.

I remember when I worked in an Early Adolescent Unit for a couple of years I found Christmas pretty heartbreaking to be with children who had no parent present and felt it deeply. Reading this post on Imaginif: We are not victims we are survivors reminded me about that. I cried a lot those Christmas's about the injustice of a world that could go on oblivious to some. I found advertising and materialism quite painful to tolerate.

My Christmas this year possibly sounds pretty sad doesn't it - NOT! It's bliss to me. I have always wanted to be an only child and as I left mum and dad's tonight after being well fed on the pseudo Christmas day lunch leftovers tonight, I informed them that this was the perfect Christmas for me! I insist on having all their attention and I am glad I will be the only one there. It is very noisy and demanding being the oldest of six kids and this will be the Christmas morning of my dreams. I won't have to wait for anyone to arrive, just me. I won't have to wait my turn to speak, or any of that sharing stuff. I will finally be the centre of the Christmas Day! Dad reminded me that I have had that experience once before, being born first. As I don't clearly remember it (I was 23 days old and my brother was there the year after), it doesn't count!

Sifting Through Memories

I have spent much of these 'at home' holidays, on improving my home. When my daughter moved out, my son claimed her room and lets just say the transition was quick and rough. Things have been shoved and tucked away and as a result out of the four rooms upstairs, only one has been fit to be in. I have a lot of storage space up there too, yet it has been very poorly utilised.

I have spent today sorting through the 'stuff' my daughter has kept during her 18 years so far. Her dad dropped in to see my son today and declared she had a similar stash at his place! She also has another 'home' in Melbourne with all the important stuff she needs.

I have discussed this sorting out with her and she agreed that she didn't really need to keep every assignment and workbook she had filled in the 13 years at school. I have also culled some of the things I know she wouldn't want. So we have boxes of karate memories, travel memories (she has been to US, Italy and NZ, as well as around Australia), cards and letters (who knew kids wrote to each other so much and in such a variety of ways!), photo's, important school stuff (certificates, school captain badges, photos, awards etc), soft toys, journals and diaries and performance stuff (music, drama, debating, choir).

There was so much, I didn't really have time to read her diaries and letters as I always feared my mum would when I moved out of home. I did reflect though on how much she has achieved in her life. She's awesome!

The room is empty now and the boxes are labelled and taped up and sitting in one of the storage areas. I wonder when/if she'll ever look at it all again. I just couldn't get rid of it all. I don't feel as sad as I thought I would, but it has been months since she left, so perhaps that's why it took so long.

Signs of Letting Go

So yesterday I read the column about de-cluttering, referred to in my last post. Ruth was pondering parting with the lock of the boyfriends hair and it seemed like it was going to be released the way the article was going.

Tonight I watched episode 13 of season one of The Gilmour Girls(I'm loving this right now and have secured for a winter of watching, season's 2 & 3). It was the episode where they go to The Bangles concert. Ah the memories of walking like an Egyptian!

Anyway Luke gave his exes sparkly jacket to the junk sale and Lorelei bought it, attracted as she was to the sparkles and wore it without realising it belonged to his ex-girlfriend and he reacted and she found out about the ex and demonstrated some interest in him by being obsessively curious about her. Are you following this?

I could relate to the obsessively curious borderline jealous thing. Then she did the totally understanding and mature thing and gave him back the sweater, I so wish I had done something this mature and together once in my life around the jealous issue thing. I know there have been moments when I could have, just the moment always passed before I managed to put it into action.

So Ruth let go, Luke didn't, the signs are there. This weekend I have let go of shabby linen that has been bulking up my storage space. Oh and piles of leftover dry biscuits that were the last ones in the pack and kept getting stuffed into the air tight container. There must have been 20 or so plastic wrappers with one salada in it. They were all stale though, so I'm questioning whether the airtight container, is in fact air tight. Perhaps the container should go too.

Zefrank's Learning Strategies

Zefrank has some seriously good ideas delivered in his usual frank and delightful way. I am a fan.

Interestingly he uses divorced people as a metaphor and after spending a really positive evening with my ex-husband, current family and friends and ex-in-laws last night to celebrate my wonderful 18 year old's birthday, I know it works, interestingly enough. Watch the video, it may make sense. If not - Oh well. It was a great night.

Nothing to say

That's all .... I kind of made a quiet agreement with myself that I would attempt to write everyday during the holidays but I can't think of much to say today.
I visited with Brendan and got to wave goodbye to him as he went off to his new life. Yesterday when I visited he'd gone to spend some time with our grandfather, so I missed him. I didn't do his resume, he said he'd decided he didn't need one since he already has a job to go to and when that finishes up he'll be in touch.
I went to a jewellery party for my daughter. That was interesting enough I guess. It was at my ex husbands house with my daughter and the ex husbands girlfriend and her ex husbands new wife and my ex father in laws new wife. My mum and auntie came to keep me company. It was one of the rare occasions I have been invited and I was treated quite pleasantly so that was nice. I like it when we all just get along. There have never been any dramatic scene's though so it is all good. After all we are all just women, doing the best we can under ever changing circumstances. It seems so weird though. There were no exes in my life until I became an adult so I have had very few role models. My friends have been the best role models. Thank goodness for them.
Well I have managed to say quite a bit for someone who had nothing to say...