30 October 2005

Young People Today

During the week I took my son and three of his friends to the 'Taste of Chaos' concert in Melbourne. I really didn't want to do it because it was in the middle of the week and would mean I wouldn't hit my pillow until after 2.00am.
I agreed to do it because he has been really supportive of me this year through many of the trials I have had. He has given me honest feedback and encouraged me to express my feelings and bolstered up my confidence on a number of occasions when I have felt that I was a failure. I didn't expect my own child to fulfil this role for me and it has meant the world to me. I wanted to do something special for him to show my appreciation.
The kids were amazing on the night. They were so grateful and joyful. I am so pleased I did this. I was surprised. I had no real expectation other than to be tired and pushed to fit it in and it was an absolute pleasure.
As a secondary teacher, I get to see plenty of young people and I find most of them to be remarkably wonderful in all honesty.

28 October 2005

The United States of Leland

I watched this tonight. Although it was quite touching and painful, it was enjoyably so.

This week has been busy and had it's highs and lows. I am finding it still difficult to get on with things at work. I struggle to shift my focus and resist being negative. I don't like myself and my thoughts at work.
This is the longest I have been in a job. Four and a half years......
I am continuing to question myself and trying to find the truth beneath the upset. I am sure there is something I am not learning that is keeping me suspending in this struggle. I want to be released. It is possibly not even about work. I don't know. I just feel really hurt and upset and whilst I am trying to pretend everything is ok and I am over it, I am dreaming and crying in my dreams and I can't escape it.

23 October 2005

Jane - My Inspiration

I have known Jane since I was 6 years old. We have shared plenty together. I love her like a sister. She now lives 5 hours away from me in another state and I see her once a year. We talk often on the phone.

Three years ago her son was in a motorbike accident. I went over and saw this beautiful alive and vibrant young person lying lifeless in a hospital bed. He was 9 years old. Time passed and most things healed but he is currently in a wheelchair and has many physical issues to deal with. Jane has been a constant carer. She has received support from a team of professionals to deal with things like physiotherapy and other medical problems, but for the day to day caring of Sam, she has retained sole responsibility and has cared lovingly for Sam. He has a great sense of humour and is fully aware of the situation he is in.

There are so many heartaching stories to tell and triumphant ones too. Through Jane's experiences I have seen another facet of the world. I would have preferred not to have known most of it.

Last night when I spoke to Jane she told me of her latest trial. Sam has been attending school as often as possible. Last term he had to have surgery and missed most of the term and suffered a lot of pain afterward. This term he returned to school. He is in year 7 and it is his final year of the primary school he has been attending. His teacher excluded him from a graduation breakfast held at a local restaurant and then tried to justify her behaviour and refused to apologise to cut the story to the barest details.

So Jane has had to go through the processes of getting justice yet again. I am inspired that she continues to go after these limited people and teach them what appropriate behaviour is when she has so much burden to carry in her life.

This woman has her life totally altered. The school is the same school he was attending when the accident occured. I don't understand. I am outraged at the treatment Sam has received and the lack of compassion for both parent and student. As a teacher I am totally puzzled about how this other teacher can be so inhumane. What is wrong with these people?

22 October 2005


Last week was challenging for me. I know I have learnt from the past though because I looked after myself. I had a massage last night, which was great. I continued doing my exercises. I continued to eat as healthy as I could be bothered with. I took some time out during the week and I feel like I am recovering from the upsets. I have had to really search my own behaviour and motives. All Upsets are Opportunities to Know the Truth. Some of the truths I didn't really want to know!
I love my workplace. I totally enjoy being a teacher and many of my fellow teachers have become very dear friends to me. This week I have learnt who is amongst the people who surround me. I remember other times in my life when I have had this chance to see who's who in my life. The reliable, perceptive friends who let you blurt out all your anger and hurt and give that valuable feedback and the sheep who go off to find a new person to kiss up to. I kind of knew who they were anyway. There were few surprises and they were mostly pleasant.

19 October 2005

Write a novel in 30 days???????

Yep, I always wanted to write a novel before I turned 40 and as this event is looming(me=40) on the 2nd December, I can just squeeze this goal in. Seriously though, this sounds fun and challenging and just what I need to take on for me to give me something positive to think about right now.

17 October 2005


I have had a really crap time at work over the past week. I have felt hurt and angry about it.

It has been a really good opportunity to assess what I am doing and to get clear about my priorities as these things are. I have remembered I love my family, I love my home and I love teaching.

11 October 2005

Self Sufficiency

I have been reading about the bird flu and terrorism and other possible dangerous consequences of living in cities and thinking it might be time to revisit my old ideas. I don't want to sit on a hill meditating with the herbal tea but I would like to have some contingency plans for getting away from the insanity of society, should some wastage hit the fan in my world as it is some places all around the planet with seeming regularity. As a teacher I would like to prepare my students to be resilient without scaring them or making them too fearful about thier future.

This article:http://www.theage.com.au/news/opinion/veneer-of-civilisation-is-easily-eroded/2005/09/08/1125772644245.html reminded me of a workshop we had with our year 8's last year about Medieval times. The man who was teaching them about knights and castles told them that in three days our civilisation would boil down to basically what happened in New Orleans. When I first heard it from him, it rattled me and reading the above article has yet again rang a warning bell. There are so many fearful scenario's that could play out.

I don't want to live in fear. I don't want to expect the worst. I don't want to ignore signs and be unprepared though. I have people I love that I want to protect. Where would I draw that line though? I love many, many people.

10 October 2005

I made it to 21!

Repetitions that is, not years!
Today was smooth. It was an incredibly sunny, windless, spring day. My classes all were productive and enjoyable.
I reached the final level in my Tibetan rite exercises. Yes I have done 21 repetitions of the 5 rites this morning and I feel great. I never thought when I began at three I would make it to 21, well actually, the three was a breeze, I think it was at about 11 when I started to have doubts, but anyway, I did make it. It was a bit of a push each time, including this morning, but I feel a sense of satisfaction at my persistance. I am even pleased that I have made this habit of doing it every morning for the last 10 weeks. Yes, I feel good about this. If you haven't heard of the Tibetan rites and are interested the website that I found out about them from is:http://www.shapeshift.net/5tibetans/ and also for more information about them, particularly the breathing http://members.ozemail.com.au/~clauspat/spin.htm. I don't really understand all that is on the second site though to be honest. There are other sources of info on the internet, but I found these to be the quickest and simplest to start with.

08 October 2005

unReal Estate

I want to be a real estate agent next I think. Today we looked at another couple of properties and they were both really divine. I am glad I don't have to decide. It is great to go along for the ride, daydreaming and imagining potentials and lifestyles and living opportunities without having to make the decision at the end.

That's why I think I would like to be a Real Estate agent. I could show people through homes and imagine with them and picture this and that and then hop in my car and drive back to my amazing home. I think it would be fun. But for now being a teacher is better. It's tough to beat actually when you like learning and teenagers and holidays.

I have found so many education blogs today and blogs written by other teachers. It is really amazing. When I have consumed them for a few weeks and selected my seriously consistently favourite ones I will add the links.

07 October 2005

Welcome back essential oils

Around 10 years ago, when I was on a big mission to revolutionise homes and learning feng shui and lots of other things about home, I 'apprenticed' myself to an aromatherapist. I wanted to learn about aromatherapy to apply it to creating spaces in homes and the essential oils would I figured add another dynamic tool to ones space creating kit. I spent one day a week with Ronece, who I have now lost contact with unfortunately, and she taught me heaps about essential oils and health. I loved my oils and I would make a different blend each morning and after I showered I would massage the blend into myself. I always put a couple of drops of lavender or chamomile into the kids bath to settle them in the evenings and I turned to my oils first if there were any illnesses or crisis's in my circle.
My life has changed dramatically since those times. Different partner, town, job, friends, home, lifestyle and time has inevitably passed. I have kept my oils and all the associated tools that go with them and on occasion I will light a burner after cleaning the house to add a bit of whatever it is I'm striving to create in the space.
Anyway this morning I decided that I need to do the daily massage thing again and I did and I immediately felt relief from a headache and weariness that has dogged me all week. It was so simple and easy to do and yet I haven't done it for probably 6 or so years. I have no idea why I stopped, but I am delighted I have started again.

05 October 2005

Excited about Kate Bush new Album

I know it is old news, but today I have felt excited about Kate Bush's new album coming out. It makes me feel hopeful and I listened to 'King of the Mountain' online this afternoon and totally enjoyed that familiar style that is unique to her and often imitated.

I enjoyed my day today. I just appreciated all the little details of my life. Even being back at work was pleasant because there are so many great people I work with that make me smile. My workmates, my students and friends there are a major part of my life and I feel blessed by them all. I enjoy learning and am lucky to be in a job that I love.

02 October 2005

The Importance of a Nap

I spent the entire afternoon napping. It was delightful. I needed it and I feel so much better. I should have done it the first day of the holidays and not the last! I think I did have one such afternoon at Foster actually. I feel I can now cope with returning to work tomorrow. I would have said returning to school, but as my daughter accurately pointed out to me on numerous occasions, it is her school and my place of work.
My grandfather (who is now 85) has always enjoyed a nap after lunch. I think it is a good and worthwhile thing and I intend to do as much of it as I can.

01 October 2005


Went for a drive today to look at some properties for sale. It was a very spring kind of day and there is an amazing view from Carrajung that we enjoyed whilst having a yummy picnic on what was probably once an oval. It was framed by tall trees and I can't believe now that I didn't take a photo. Too distracted by the view I guess and by daydreaming about what could happen in that space. It was warm, sunny and delightful.