Girlosophy: The Breakup Survival Kit by Anthea Paul

'The Breakup Survival Kit' gives a well balanced action plan for girls who have split up, whatever the circumstances. It contains some good, common-sense advice for young women and lays a positive path for moving forward into a new future.

As with the other Girlosophy books by Anthea Paul, it has healthy suggestions and gentle messages about keeping your self-esteem in tact and building on it in a situation that can be demanding. It has beautiful images and although a smaller format than the other Girlosophy books remains true to the uplifting philosophy and beauty of the series.

I enjoyed this book and highly recommend it for both young women and men to help to gain perspective during one of those trying times in life. Breaking-up is a big life challenge and most people experience it at least once in their life, this little book contains many wisdom's that can ease that passage.

Busy Busy Times

Last night we had the Christmas concert in the park in the middle of town. It was great. I walked down, enjoyed the kids music making and walked home.

It's been frantic at work. My Digital Storytelling class are undertaking to make a short film for each homeroom to be shown to the whole school next week and as these things always happen, at the last minute, there are still some that aren't complete yet. I am rushing around to get that organised in lunchtimes and feeling very flustered about it.

I still haven't started my report writing yet, but am making a lot of progress with my marking, in snatches here and there. We have a public holiday on Friday for the local show, so I expect, I will spend it writing reports.

Today we went to an 'adventure' park with our year nines as part of a transition program. They are going to the senior campus next year. It was exhausting.

My team talked me into participating in a couple of things. So I did the 'Leap of Faith' which involved walking a plank with a harness on, up very very high.

I also did one of the team activities. We had to all as a team get over this really high wall. There was one student left who hadn't done it and as I was attempting to convince her it would be fine, some bright spark suggested I show her, for extra points for the team. I would have gladly disappeared, yet instead allowed my students to boost me up and drag me up over this wall.

Bruises galore! Why do I always fall for these things? The kids are younger and braver than me! I am so tired, but it was great to see the kids push their boundaries. Some of them are amazingly strong, brave and fit. One more day of teaching and then a marathon report writing weekend, including my birthday somehow. Oh, I have to make my wish list!

Who Do Teens Admire?

This week in my year 9 English class, students were delivering prepared oral presentations on the subject "A Person I Admire". I love this assignment. Every year, I have been delighted as students have usually prepared well and revealed the heroes in their lives.

Most years there are a couple of 'celebrity' heroes and they have predominantly been sporting and entertainment heroes until this year. I was delighted with the 'famous' heroes chosen this year, social activists, business people doing extraordinary things and courageous survivors were the only 'personally unknowns' in the speeches. This is really important to me because I feel young people need real role models. Role models that are worthy of their admiration and worth imitating.

Most students select a family member. Grandparents, mothers, fathers, aunts, brothers and sisters are all the people most looked up to by teenagers over the 6 years I have been teaching year 9 English. The love and gratitude the teenagers express in these speeches are precious. Whenever I can, I let parents know this because I wonder if they realise how much their young person appreciates and respects them.Usually they are surprised.

Tears came to my eyes in class a few times whilst listening to the speeches as they were so touching. As I looked around the room, some of the students were feeling similarly moved. I felt proud this class has created such a safe learning environment that they can share their passions and express their emotions within it. It feels human to me.

Girlosophy: A Soul Survival Kit, by Anthea Paul

Get 'Girlosophy: A Soul Survival Kit' for your girls, you'll be glad you did.
When you open this book, vibrant images, colours and words almost bounce off the pages. In the style of billboards or large stunning posters, the sound messages of this book are delivered in a very asthetically pleasing way. It's like flicking through a glossy magazine, yet instead of false images, the truth is revealed.
The messages in this book are nourishing and good. If you have a daughter, this would be an amazing gift. I thoroughly enjoyed it myself and thought several times as I was reading it from cover to cover, I wish someone had told me that info at an earlier age. For me it was everything I want my daughter to know about being the best she can be.
I have taken this book (as well as some others), to school this week and the teens I work with have all flicked through them and shared with each other the bits they found particularly interesting. Many of them asked me where they could buy them and how much. So it's not just my older eyes that saw the beauty in it. The boys too were quite interested and much of the information is human rather than female.

My Truth about Beauty

Your beauty takes nothing away from mine! There is space in the world for each of us to be beautiful. Our uniqueness, rarity and individuality makes each of us gorgeous. When we try to subscribe to the media's notions of beauty is when it all get's ugly. I love the Dove commercials. Especially this one:


It is sad to see people in competitions about beauty. These range from the school yard quasi popularity contests to the pageants and contests held all over the world to determine beauty. We all know these kinds of things are fleeting, in the eye of the beholder and irrelevant to the real things in life. Most of us are aware of the forces that come into play when these contests occur. Look at the movies about them:

"Little Miss Sunshine", "Beautiful", ,"Miss Congeniality" ,"Drop Dead Gorgeous" are films giving some insight into the ugliness of the beauty competition. It's all wrong!

I remember when my daughter was a baby, one of my most embarrassing memories was putting her in a baby photography competition. I knew she would win because she was divine. She was absolutely gorgeous. My best friend Jane, whom I dragged along with me, begged me not to do it. She sanely pleaded that it was a stupid idea. I couldn't see the harm. I'm not sure what it was I wanted to prove to the world (and a small world it was). Strangely my daughter did not win. I was shocked, as was every other parent in the room whose child didn't win. We all know our children are amazing and beautiful and the truth is they are. I didn't make that same mistake with my second child.

I have been showing my students the evolution clip this week and discussing with all classes the impact of what we see in the media about our gender, beauty and sexuality. It's been interesting and has been inspired from the great talk I heard on Monday by Anthea Paul. I have purchased 'girlosophy' and have loved what I have read so far. It is visually stunning.

Schools Today

I've just returned from our schools fashion parade. The talent displayed by the kids just blows me away. The beauty of each individual kid who modelled the clothes, all different shapes and sizes, hair colours, individuals shone for all to see. The creativity and work that was on display in the drawings and sketches in the foyer, in the recycled fashion items modelled by the students was stunning. It saddens me that it is so obvious to the adults in their lives, parents, teachers and friends, yet they miss it in themselves. This is why I loved Anthea Paul's awesome speech last night.

It's been a busy week at school and I have seen some amazing displays of goodness this week. On Monday we held a Remembrance Day service. A group of students organised and delivered speeches acknowledging their appreciation of the selflessness of those who served the country. Students then pinned names of family members who had served to a string. The remainder of the student body, roughly 600 students all seated on the ground around the flagpole, were so silent and respectful, you could hear the names gently flapping in the wind. Every year I witness this in awe. I look at the sea of faces and feel proud to work among these kids who rise to such occasions.

It is also a privilege to work alongside the teachers who make these things happen. The teacher responsible for the Remembrance Day service and the Fashion Parade sits next to me at my desk. I watch her every year making calls, driving around town, running fundraisers to make these events a success. She gets exhausted, tired, stressed yet her passion for her students and life keeps her turning up every day to make these truly educational experiences happen. She is not paid any more than other teachers at our school, she has no special position, she enriches our school community because that is an expression of who she is. I appreciate her greatly.

The media rarely reports these things. Reporters don't tell about the kids who support one another through family, friendship and health crisis's. They don't find it newsworthy to inform about the efforts that go into fundraising and social action in most schools around the country. They don't celebrate the talent and creativity we get to see in the art shows, fashion parades, musical performances, to mention a few of the events I get to see every year.

Yes, we will all be exhausted over the next few weeks wrapping up the year into corrections, reports and award nights, but it is entirely worth it.

The Return of the Son etc..

He's back. It's a good thing. The house was too empty. I never thought I would feel like that. I have always appreciated my solitude, but I was delighted to have him home early.

Tonight the friends are all here upstairs watching movies and it feels like back to normal. A new kid (NK) came along tonight.
Son: Mum this is .....
NK: She already knows me.
Me: I do?
NK: Of course you do
Son: Were you in her class?
NK: No, but everyone knows me, ha ha.

How awkward. I don't recall her. It's often the case that every kid in the school knows you and somehow expects you to know them. There are over 600 kids on our campus. Impossible! I don't think she realised I had no idea who she was. Phew!

Doing the Deb

For months our year 11's have been preparing for the debutante ball by learning to dance, handing over large sums of money and fantasizing about what 'the big night' would bring. I know this because my son was one of them. In the beginning there were the 'who's partnering who' conversations along with last minute upsets and broken agreements. Then came the girls chatter about dresses and shoes. The eager mum's joining the 'deb committee' to ensure they got front row seats (I didn't venture and thus was seated firmly at the back wall) and their child the 'right' night. I've seen all this before as outsider (teacher) and insider when my daughter went through similar motions 2 years ago. Never was brave enough to go on that committee though!

The last week has brought partner gift exchanges, hair disasters, makeup trials, and that nervous excitement we all know before a big event. Yesterday, the climax was finally reached. We (son and I) went to the home of his partner, where four stunning girls had gathered to create the kind of glamour and beauty you could expect at such an event. They all looked amazing. There were few stressful moments and last minute crisis, before they climbed into the limo and were taken to the venue for photo's and goodness knows what else.

Four hours later we arrived and watched them 'be presented', smile, dance etc and then the deed was done. The big footy match was listened to with discrete earphone, by a few suffering parents. The sacrifices they make! I must say, having taught many of these kids when they were in year 7, 8 and 9, it was touching to see how they had grown up. They are a great bunch of kids. There was food, music, dancing and glitz.

The after party was attended and in the wee small hours I was driving a carload of teens back to my house to sleep it off. It was twilight when I got into bed.

Is it all worth it? I don't know, but it has been done. Twice now. If you ask my kids, they would say yes. They enjoyed themselves and love the sense of occasion and formality. I did my deb and although I wouldn't have dreamt of not doing it, I wouldn't again if I had my life over. I thought it was overrated as far as experiences go, personally.

For those of you who are not familiar with this Australian rite of passage, see this wikipedia extract, scroll down the Australia and there you have it. Our students were 'presented' to the local Catholic priest.

'Rose by any other name' by Maureen McCarthy

Maureen McCarthy read aloud the beginning of this novel to us at the Melbourne Writers Festival and I was hooked. I have devoured this book in a day. I could no longer resist it sitting in that pile next to my bed.

Remembering Young Adulthood
'Rose by any other name' is a novel I would recommend to all older teenagers about how life can get in the way of your plans and sidetrack you. I loved it as I remembered my first year out of school and how I went in every direction other than the clear and planned path. Sometimes the emotional upsets in our life drive us to seek escape from all the good and nurturing things in our life. They build a cranky outer shell that disguises who we really are from both the world and ourselves.

Unconditional Families
I loved this novel as a mother and a daughter. That tension between the mother and daughter that is so prevalent in my own mother/daughter and daughter/mother interactions. It was so realistic and funny and sad. Maureen McCarthy captures beautifully the pleasures and trails of belonging to a close family.

Rants
Sprinkled throughout the novel are rants about the things Rose hates, that she has published in a music magazine. My favourite:

"Don'tch just hate it... when you find out the all your dirty secrets are public knowledge? You go around thinking your life is private, that no one knows your business. Well, I'm here to tell you, you millions of multi-talented, meat-eating, hoodwinked, rock-loving Saucers, that not only do the banks, ASIO, the tax department and the credit companies have all your details on file, more than likely your family knows a lot more about your every move than you do. Yep,that's right! Face it! Your mother reads your diary. Your siblings trawl through your emails. Your friends, hungry for contact with warm-blooded creatures after a day in front of the screen, spread your private confidences like preachers at a religious rally. Don't blame them. Privacy is dead. Get used to it!......"

(pg 266)

And what a relief it is to have all our darkest guilty secrets and pains exposed and accepted. You try to save those close to you from the pain you experience, yet it is the pain of separation from them that is the real sin.

I really adored this novel. It contains so much emotionally; from the freedom and bliss of surfing, the joys of shared music taste, the intimacy of best girlfriends and sisters, the pain of betrayal, the vulnerability of being in love, the deep pain and anger of our most important people falling to human status, the discovery of loving the wrong person to the myriad of interactions that occur in relationships. It is a full and juicy novel.

Melbourne Writers Festival

On Monday I'm travelling with some year 9 and 10 students to the "Melbourne Writers Festival - Schools Program". I look forward to this for a number of reasons. I always enjoy taking the students on excursions, because they are always engaged and at their best. We can only take a small number of students, so only those who are really passionate about reading and writing have gone to the effort, or been selected by their English teachers. I expect this will make for great conversation on the 2 hour + bus trip. I will also enjoy listening to the authors speak about their books. I'm not sure yet, which sessions I will be attending, but I will be sure to tell you after I've been.
For those who live a little closer, "Melbourne Writers Festival" is for adults also and there are plenty of sessions to cater for all. Check out the program on the webpage.

'the best thing' by Margo Lanagan

First Impressions
'the best thing' by Margo Lanagan was a very interesting read. About half way through I nearly abandoned it, finding it mundane and sad and too real to be readable. I'm glad I hung in there.
Mothering
I loved the way Margo Lanagan describes the passage of pregnancy and childbirth and the early days of mothering. Her protagonist is a young woman, yet I found it a description that closely resembled the feelings I had when I was a slightly older young mother.
Margo Lanagan's Writing
I discussed Margo Lanagan's writing today with a colleague and we both agreed it wasn't always easy to read, not that it was difficult to understand, it was emotionally confronting. I always find her writing rewarding though precisely because it is confronting.
Short Story vs Novel
When I started the novel, I wondered if I didn't prefer Lanagan's writing in short story form as I had loved the three anthologies of short stories I had read 'Red Spikes', 'Black Juice' and 'White Time'. At the conclusion of this novel, I find that I love her writing in both forms. She cuts to the heart of what's really important and describes it beautifully. It is truly a vibrant and triumphant tale that is gutsy in it's subject choice as well as the depth it delves into.

Planting Trees

It feels so great to do something practical. We took 50 kids from our school out to a park today and planted 900 trees. I am exhausted tonight, but I feel satisfied. The kids really threw themselves into it. When we asked for volunteers, my entire class immediately volunteered and brought their forms back the next day to ensure they got to go. There were plenty of kids in the school who wanted to go, so we had to make it a first in best dressed arrangement. Kids were rushing into the office before school to try to be the first and the cut off occurred before homeroom started.

If you were cynical, you could say it was just about having a day out of the classroom. I believe 80% at least though want to do the right thing. They want to make a difference and are quick to jump to opportunities to do so. I see many kids doing amazing volunteer work in my community and I will tell you more about some of the things they do soon. Today it's the tree planters day.

We could harness this enthusiasm and good will more often. If only we had the energy to keep up and keep it safe!

Saturday Night's Full Moon

Taxi
Sometimes, when I am not too cranky, busy, tired, etc, I will drive my son and his friends to their assorted Saturday night engagements. I have seen some sights during these times and last night was no exception.
Parties, Gatherings, and other names for a Riot
Young people have a lot of difficulty convincing parents to have them in the family home on a weekend night. I have negotiated with my son about the specific meaning behind the word 'gathering' or 'few'. I learnt to be very clear about numbers after having a party. When I take him to little 'shindigs' and there is overflow onto the street, I have empathy for whichever parent didn't get clear about numbers. I assume the parent is home, or at least aware when I say that. I heard a classic story about an individual who sent a mass text to friends, inviting them to a get together, and in the frenzy to get the news out, included the absent parental unit. Oooops!
Pre outing drinks
The outing is preceded by assembling at someones house and having a couple of bevvies, whilst completing final touches to grooming. Straighteners, assorted hair products, alternative outfits etc are lugged to the nominated house and the girls all have a 'prebrief' (before the event debrief). I have heard harsh comments. Once all the final touches have been made a number of photo's are taken, often appearing on myspaces.
Most Recent Event
Last night I took them to an 18th at a venue. Looking splendid and slightly tipsy, they joined the throng on the footpath. After a visit to the supermarket, I did the parent thing and drove by again to check they had got in safely. There had been a problem with this venue as the host had been forewarned that only a small number of under 18 year old would be allowed in, yet the birthday celebrant had clearly invited many more than that.
The Debrief
It was an early, yet eventful night. The debrief happened at the end of the night, with another parent and a smaller, still upright group. As a teacher, I get drips and drops of what has occurred over the next week, yet last night all the information poured in on the spot. There had been friends lost, wandering, beaten up, broken hearted and the usual written off by alcohol. The most glamorous, beautiful young people, time and time again, shred their careful appearances by drinking too much.
Worry
I worry about fights, alcohol, self-esteem, about my son and the kids I teach. I am concerned about them all. It is a juggling act to stay open enough that they could call you if they need you and to not condone or support their risky behaviours. There are many parents who are prohibitive and clueless about what really goes on. I think this is dangerous. I don't feel judgemental about these kids. I love them. I know, nothing new here, but it is scary to watch.

Dragging my way to the end of Term

The last three days.....
I've just had an interesting couple of days. I've had the pleasure of having three awesome young ladies from NSW stay with us, whilst they participated in a netball carnival ran by our school. It was such fun. They were delightful. I have the flu, I feel exhausted by the usual mid year things, reports, freezing weather, short days and had a couple of unusual unpleasant events. I was not looking forward to having visitors.
Infectious Joy
Amazingly, I have thoroughly enjoyed the visit. Although I continued to ache and be tired, yet when the girls were around, I laughed and listened to their enthusiasm, feeling better. The time flew when they were here. Their high spirits and energy really lifted me up.
Youth
Yet again, I am reminded why I love being a secondary school teacher. Young people are just great to be around and they share their passion for life so generously. I feel really grateful for my job. Even if I am counting down for the term to end. Now, like the old person I am feeling right now, I'll drop into bed and dream of holidays.

The Running Man by Michael Gerard Bauer

I have recently completed 'The Running Man' by Michael Gerard Bauer and found it to be an excellent novel that keeps you wondering throughout. It oozes mystery and keeps the reader curious and wondering until the end. I like the characters and the perception and vulnerability of the main character.
This book was a winner of the Older Readers CBCA Awards in 2005 as well as a list of other awards received around the country. His latest "Don't Call Me Ishmael" (Read Chapter One Here), has been shortlisted for the 2007 CBCA Awards again in the Older Readers catagory.

My Day

Today was magical for me. Our students had a poetry competition at school and it was breathtaking to see them stand up and read their poems to their peers. At this time of the term it's the last thing I wanted to have in front of me today. My patience has worn to a thin veneer all week. The students were well behaved and attentive and gave each other the respect they deserved. There were 40 odd poems read to an audience of about 180 students from a variety of classes. Many were labelled as students who just wanted to get out of class, yet they learnt today. They listened, participated and responded appropriately to one anothers poetic offerings. I felt proud of them all and deeply touched by many of them. It was great.

The last week I have been blessed by my dad, recently retired coming to do a mountain of maintenance that I just haven't had time to attend to for a long time. As a result I now have a back garden that doesn't look like a neglected wilderness, two doors that I can get into my home with ease rather than a wrestle and a pile of rubbish removed from my view. My mum and auntie have helped me inside and I now feel I have a home to come to at the end of the day. It has made such a difference. I'm not sure how I managed to neglect everything so much but there have been quite a few things going on and I have found it easier to blog, read or sleep than to do anything productive.

I visited pa on the weekend and he has made an amazing recovery so far. He was sitting up and chatting to those around him. The doctors have solved a few of his health problems and he seems to be mending more, each time I visit. He has had mountains of visitors. He has 3 children, 15 grandchildren and over 20 great grandchildren. Most of them have been to see him in the past week or so, some travelling from Adelaide, Queensland and many from Melbourne. He is such a powerful force in our lives and so well loved.

Lot's of things happen in your day. So many that I can never manage to keep track of them all but today was great. So I am feeling very satisfied and blessed tonight. I am still tired and ready for my holidays due to commence at the end of the week, yet I feel content.

Be Here Now

As Mason Jennings so beautifully sings it in this song. I want to try to be here now a little more. I remember when I first heard this song, driving with Andy in a National Park, somewhere between here and Wollongong. My brother Tim, with his awesome music taste had given it to me for Christmas. I really appreciate Tim's music taste and his selections he gives us all for Christmas.

I found my gratitude rock today and used it. It was given to me by some great kids on camp at Tamboritha last year. I had told them about gratitude rocks, so they found this massive rock and wrote "gratitude rock" on it and gave it to me. It always makes me smile and remember.

I had to go to the drs today and whilst I was waiting there was this beautiful baby girl lying in her capsule with her eyes glued on her mother. The mum didn't seem to notice and I remembered when my kids were babies, I wouldn't have noticed either. You could almost see the adoration as a tangible thing coming from that baby girl. It was so beautiful to watch. I was feeling a little stressed at the time and I am sure it totally calmed me to watch this.

Teenage Wildlife

It's a time of zits and angst.



Yet it is also a time of hope and passion and that's why I love working with teens.

Chumscrubbers

Last night I watched this movie,Chumscrubbers. My son recommended it to me and said it was like Donnie Darko as he knew I'd really enjoyed that. He finds great movies!
Andy and I found this movie quite disturbing, because we can see the reality in it. It was scary to watch and scary because you can recognise so much of our existance in it. I was just saying to my friend the other day how I really don't know what my kids life is like, but I just have to trust them. I really try to stay in good communication with them but I know there are times I don't succeed. I don't think I am as extreme as the parents in the movie, but I am confident that some of us are some of the time. If you are a parent, you should watch this.
It also speaks to me of the drug culture in our society. I really find the ADHD drugging of children disturbing. I am not an expert and I probably don't have any qualification to say that, but I just feel it's not right. It reminds me of that other great film 'Thumbsuckers', it had one of the same actors in it as well as a host of other great names.
I found this little clip on MSN that discusses the parent angle in this film, you might like to watch that too.
On a lighter note, this blogger found this to comment on, which is another aspect of the film that was lighter and more enjoyable.

Term 4, 2006 Kicks Off

I returned to school/work today. We had a lovely reflection centered around angels to begin our term today. That great movie, "Dogma", came to mind;-). It's funny really and probably not that appropriate, but when I am sitting in that space, it is the time I most identify as being a student myself. I was such a rebellious one when I sat in that space as a student. I wonder if the energy lingers and lures me into being that again. Perhaps I should avoid that back row. That is definately the spot where it happens.
It is my favourite term because it is warmer and easier to get up. The holidays I am looking forward to are going to be longer. We have all our lovely completion rituals and there are no parent-teacher interviews after these reports we will write.
There are lots of interuptions and fun things going on.
I have two year nine camps to go on this term and I love the year 9 camps. I love going to the high country and riding horses and living simply and getting to know others better. It is a very enjoyable way to work.