Girlosophy and Anthea Paul

Last night I went to see Anthea Paul speak at the Gippsland Womens Health Annual General Meeting in Sale. She is one of the most engaging speakers I have listened to, in a long time. I was very overtired and nearly didn't bother - I'm so pleased I did!

It helped that her message is exactly the kind of message I try to get out to my students every day. It's easy to like someone who agrees with you :-). Yet seriously, there is a woman who is a fitting role model for young women. She is passionate, intelligent and articulate. She recognises true beauty and spirit for what it is and casts all imitations offered to young women today aside.

Anthea has written a series of books for young women, which I will be purchasing and reading. I will no doubt share them here, when I am done. Her message is worthy and I intend to take it up. She is currently visiting a number of schools and communities in Gippsland, so if you have the opportunity to see her, do whatever it takes to get there. Take your daughter!

New Moon in Scorpio 2007

I have just returned from my massage and feel quite deliciously relaxed and refreshed. I was fit to scream this afternoon. Cranky, overtired and I felt like waiting up for my massage was intolerable. I wasn't sure if I would go to sleep or cry on the table tonight, but I just sank into the deepest relaxation whilst all the troubles in my mind whirled around and eventually evaporated. I feel good now.

For all the astrological snippets on the New Moon in Scorpio arriving Saturday afternoon in Australia (east coast) About.com can fill you in on what a Scorpio new moon is about. One of my favourite Aussie astrologers Yasmin Boland's Sagittarius weekly outlook for the new moon is eerily accurate for me. I do have a few mysteries on my plate at present, and I am not sure if I'm brave enough to know the truth yet. I don't think I'll be digging into anything in the near future. I would rather remain relaxed and do the meditating part!

Carer's Week: 14th - 20th October

The National Depression Initiative: Beyond Blue is recognising carers this week. I take my hat off to those who care for someone suffering with depression. Carers are all around us. Those tired looking people who work with you all day and then go home and do a second shift, patiently, lovingly with family or friends. Some of the students at my school are carers for parents with mental health issues. It's a big job. In most cases you will never hear about it. It reminds me to be kind to everyone, just in case they are carrying a bigger load than you know.

If you want more information Beyond Blue is a great site. There's a lot of information for all kinds of concerns.

Coughing and Spluttering

I have had the full range of winter ailments this year. On this first day of the holidays I have woken with a sore chest and cough. I did enjoy a full nights sleep last night.
I am drenched with relief that it is holidays. Last term was just too full on for me personally. I need to rest, clean my home, throw out stuff and catch up on all the details of my life. I have no travel plans. I am going to get re-acquainted with my home.
I put my son on a plane yesterday to join his dad in QLD for a holiday. It will be quiet around here without him and his friends. The last two nights there have been a tangle of bodies sleeping in his room each night and lots of comings and goings and laughter. I love the kids, but honestly will appreciate a break in the traffic.
Andy is off to Tassie today. I don't know how I feel about that. Mixed I guess, is all I can say.

Celebrating Spring

I'm glad August is done. It has been a very ordinary month for me. I've been home sick or sad more than I've been at work it feels like. I am really fed up with it. I actually love my job and the kids I teach, so I have been pretty flat the last couple of days. I guess there was just too much to deal with last month.

My tulips are popping up. One of my students brought a handful of tulips (his mother deposited them at the office)for me last week. I love them. Andy planted a dozen bulbs for me last year and this will be my second bunch of flowers from him. It's fun to watch them arrive as they are right now.

Today I went for a stroll (there was nothing brisk about it) to the local shops in the sunshine. I haven't exercised for so long and I had to get out of the house. I was starting to feel sorry for myself-blah! I wore my hat and sunnies and I'm glad I did because I read The Age: Victorians need to slip, slop, slap in Spring.

"Victorians are being warned not to leave their sun protection until summer with the Cancer Council of Victoria saying ultraviolet (UV) ray levels are already at a point where they can cause damage leading to skin cancer."

I listened to some podcasts I had downloaded. I love my iPod. I had an mp3 player but itunes is so easy to use. I have subscribed to some of the ABC radio programs and I have all my music on it.

Rhonda came over and it was great to have a laugh with her. The beginning of the new season I am declaring a fresh start for myself.

Sick Again!!

I had to come home from school today as I began vomming (as my son calls it) again. This is the third time in the last month I have experienced this. I cried tears of frustration and had to be picked up by my parents just like a school kid. Lucky they could do that for me. I have slept all day and am trying not to spend the little energy I have right now on being cranky.

THE Flu

Feeling Blah
I've been home with the flu(/gastro type thingy, yucky anyway) for two days and I feel like I am going stir crazy. I want my time back. It's so inconvenient!
When I woke up before, I thought I'd have a read of some blogs and catch up. I've just about been sleeping for two days. My head still is a little sore, but I have to have something else to think about.
I noticed I am not alone.
Abundance Highway: Patience reports that Suzy has caught the bug.
Darren Rowse has prepared 8 Things to Do on your Blog when you're Sick because

"As I woke up with a pounding head and numerous other flu ailments I thought today might be a relevant day to answer the question"

Over at 'Everybody Knows': Yeah Still Here, I find that

"yes i am still alive and yes i do intend to keep blogging. Its just been busy. Oh and coughing rather a lot still. All the time in fact."

Contagious Online?
I doubt it very much, but there seems to be a lot of it travelling around Australia right now. There was an article in the news recently about a Flu Website that tracks the Flu. Here is the link to my clipped article on Newsvine. Strangely though, the article doesn't have a link or address to the website. For more information about the 2007 Flu season you can go to the WHO Centre.. Or you can just hope it goes away soon like I am.

Offline Life

Routines
I have been busy offline lately. I felt my Internet usage was becoming a little invasive in my life and whilst having a bit of a stock take of the things I do with my time, prompted by some personal growth reading on Steve Pavlina and Craig Harper's sites I must admit. I have rearranged my routines to work better for me and have spent less time online as a result. I am feeling pretty good about it to be honest.
Exercise
As it is winter here in Australia, I have been struggling for the past month or so, to get up at 6.00 and do my 20 minutes on the stepper. I had all kinds of excuses, my heart monitor battery needed replacing, it was too cold, I had the flu. I would do it for a few days and then stop. So I solved this dilemma this week by doing 30 minutes after work. I am now getting up guilt free in the morning and not resisting getting out of bed so much because I know I have done my exercise the night before. I will probably go back to mornings when it gets a little lighter and warmer in the mornings. I am pleased this is working now, as life has become easier. Why didn't I think of it earlier?
Housework and Lunch
As I am not squeezing exercise into my mornings, or avoiding exercise to be more honest, I've been able to make a healthy lunch to take to work and tidy the house before I go to work. When I get home, I do a couple of chores before exercising and it's really satisfying to come home to a tidy house.
Bedtime
I am going to bed at the same time at night, even though I'm not always getting up earlier to exercise. I read a little longer and get a bit more sleep. I really believe enough sleep is a really important ingredient in a busy life. I can't function if I don't get it.
Treats
I have also been going to the movies once a week, because I love film and have decided to make the time for myself. It has improved my level of cheerfulness. I feel like I am treating myself well and I'm happier. It's a simple thing really and I'm amazed at the difference it has made.
Over to You
I haven't bored you with all my little routine changes just for the fun of it. I reflected today about how much happier I have been this week and wondered if this wasn't worth sharing with others. A few simple changes might be enough to snap you out of a bout of winter blues, or get you back on track.

Massaged and Loving It

Highly Recommend Massage
If you have never had a massage in your life, as so many people tell me they haven't, commit to getting one today. I've been having around 4 massages a year for the last 20 years. I'm about to start having one a month though, life is too short!
Shop Around
In this time I have probably had a couple that weren't satisfying because I paid too much and received too little, yet on the whole, the massages I have received have been little hours of bliss in life. At times I've had to try different people for all kinds of reasons. It's a bit like hairdressers, sometimes you have to shop around to find the one that is just right for you.
Finding the ONE
I tried a new masseur yesterday. I have to say I was thrilled with her service. Excellent pressure, clean, tranquil space, warm towels, great price and a very positive and professional lady. The massage was a pleasure to receive. She used the quality essential oils that I prefer and a fabulous blend. Later in the day I felt a little tender, which always is the sign of a beneficial massage to me, much like those muscular pains after have a great workout at the gym. Yet during the massage, there was no pain, only relief and relaxation.
Affordable Proactive Care
Massage relieves stress, which is a big cause of disease. It improves your circulation and elimination. There are many types of therapeutic massage yet even relaxation massage is beneficial. Having a regular massage, whilst seemingly indulgent, could arguably be a saving due to the health benefits. Preventing disease has to be better than treating it. When I was struggling financially, I was fortunate enough to have friends who were studying massage and I was the crash test dummy for them, so got my massages for little or nothing. There really is no excuse to go without the health and well being benefits. Ask around to find a good reasonably priced person in your area. I have found people working from their homes are cheaper and usually just as well set up.
Massage Exchange
I massage my family and friends but I am not professional and I conk out pretty quickly. When they reciprocate it is a similar experience, they don't last long enough! Whilst I think it is a lovely nurturing thing to do this for one another, it is no substitute for paying for and receiving an hour or more in a beautiful candle lit room, scented with essential oils, wrapped in a warm towel, in well trained hands.
How to Spot a Great Service
Short fingernails is a must. Many beauticians have long nails and whilst they create a great environment and have lots of other elements in place, can't really apply pressure as well as trim nailed counterparts. Cleanliness and warmth are vital as I find it difficult to relax in other circumstances. Discuss price up front. Around $50 an hour is what I have generally found is a fair price.

Teeth and other pains

Dentists - Aagh
My son had braces put on today. A couple of weeks ago he had to have 2 teeth removed to accommodate this. It didn't go as hoped and the root of the tooth broke off and was lodged up somewhere(don't want to go into much detail as it makes me sick to think of it). On Saturday, he had it removed by a dental surgeon and then finally today, the braces went on. He was swollen and brave.
Don't Do It!
I have fought the braces all the way. I objected to teeth being removed. He is seventeen however and he wanted them. I hope it is worth the pain and expense. I can't bear it. I had overcrowded teeth and had heaps removed and some orthodontic work. I don't think it was worth it, but I'm hoping the technology has improved, for his sake.
Bye Auntie Karren
She was a strong, down to earth woman, a hardworking and humble person who was much loved. She made me laugh with her honest observations she would make and just cut through the bullshit and say what she saw. She shared her life with my Uncle, who will miss her deeply. They ran a business together, were hospitable to the large family we have, loved their kids and grand kids, travelled together and had a good life.
My response
We had a big family funeral today for my Auntie. With report writing and dentist appointments mingled in with all the day to day goings on in my life, I had managed not to think about it much, other than to commit to quitting smoking, which seemed like a rational thing to do. My parents are away and couldn't come back, so it was easier to stay in denial. I knew my brother and the rest of the family were doing all the right things. Today however it was harder. It was good to see all my family today rallying around my Uncle. It was a good funeral, as funerals go.

I have a big headache now and I'm going to bed.

Last Man Standing

To Quit...
I am reflecting today on quitting smoking. This is going to be a long post. I have made a commitment to myself to get hypnotised. I have to write a list of reasons why I want to quit. The counsellor knows it isn't worthwhile unless I really want to. I really do want to. I have chosen hypnosis because I want to do this calmly and mindfully. I intend it to be an exercise in self-improvement, rather than a ugly and uncomfortable withdrawal from addiction.

Past attempts
I am scared I am going to fail at it again. I have tried a number of times before. I thought I would write this reflection on my blog post to add some leverage to my intention. There is nothing quite like telling the world you are going to do something for making you follow through. I have tried patches, gum, hypnosis, cold turkey, zyban and nicotine lozenges. Hypnosis was the least damaging and most empowering, so I am going with that again.

Freedom from Addiction
I intensely dislike being unable to choose. I hate the panic I feel when I am running out of cigarettes. I am not in control of my own behaviour and this has health, social, financial and time consequences. I remember a doctor once said to me " I don't know how you find the time!" and I was furious about that. I see myself as a really busy person who gets a lot done. Yet when I have quit in the past, I have so much extra time and accomplish so much more.

Social Smoker

I feel like the last man standing as far as smoking goes. It used to be a great social event to go outside for a smoke. All the best people were out there and there was always laughter and wickedness that I enjoyed. Now it feels like the best people have quit and I am left with the people who don't really care....about themselves. A harsh thing to say as a couple of my best friends in the whole world are still smoking with me, but I want them to stop too. I am not a social smoker though. I am totally addicted and smoke in any circumstance.

Fear of Death
My Auntie died this week. She was a smoker and she had a lot of cancer. She was only in her fifties. That's young, particularly when you are in your forties. I am no longer prepared to race towards premature death. Other family members who were smokers have also died.

Love
I don't want to set a bad example to my kids or to the kids I teach. I love them and I want to demonstrate living healthy to them. I know it hurts my parents, kids and loved ones to see me smoke. They are scared for me and I can relate to that when I see people I love take risks with their wellbeing. It's not fair. My relationships suffer from this habit.

Health
I enjoy being healthy. I like having circulation in my feet and hands. I like to breath easily when I exercise, or even when I wake up. I want to stop snoring and having sinus pain.

Taste and Smell
I know from my previous quitting times how much better the world can taste and smell.

Time and Money
I want that time and money for more exciting, adventurous and positive things like home improvements, travelling and learning.

Why
I can think of lots of reasons why I smoke. Most of them are historical and have been eclipsed by the addiction. I started smoking when I was young and rebellious and all my friends smoked. Most of the adult women I admired were smokers. I wanted to be like them all. I continued smoking because nobody could tell me what to do. I wanted to be a rebel. I didn't care, I wasn't afraid, it was the least of my bad habits (or so I thought) at times. I thought I was invincible. I was angry and it helped. I wanted a treat - a coffee and a smoke. I didn't want to put on weight by eating a treat instead of having a smoke. I know most of those reasons are redundant or ignorant now. I am just addicted.

How
I think how is always more important than why. I have learnt a lot from my last experiences. I know I can not have another smoke if I am going to give up, so I am going to rid my home of all butts and buts. I am going to listen to the hypnosis tape each morning whilst I exercise and at night before I sleep. I am going to quit on the last day of school so I have a two week head start before I have to say no to going outside with my smoking buddies at school. I am going to start a room painting project to give me something valuable to do with my time. I am going to take extra vitamin B and eat healthy fresh food. I am booking a massage for myself as my treat and will reward myself with a handbag I have been wanting to buy at the end of the holidays. I know I will have the support of my family and friends. This week I am going to make a treasure map of the lifestyle I want to live when I am free of this addiction. I am letting go of something that no longer serves me and I am ready.
I have read the book Allen Carrs Easy Stop Smoking
I will use the following web pages to support me also:
Natural Therapy
QuitNow - National Tobacco Campaign
Quit Vitoria
Wish me luck.

Hand Sanitizer

I had no idea how widespread hand sanitizer is. Last time I visited my pa in the hospital, there were bottles of this hand sanitizer as you entered the wards and a sign asking you to clean your hands with this waterless hand cleaner before and after visiting in the hospital. I did.
My daughter tells me they have it at the primary school where she is working for the kids to use before they eat lunch. There is a small bottle on my desk. It says

"Instant Hand Sanitizer", subtitled "Kills 99.99% of germs"

I'm not sure why, but that seems really weird and sterile to me. I am not sure if I like it.
New Kills Germs Without Water
Are germs endangered species? That's a joke. I wonder are we taking clean to a new and bizarre level? Are there that many germs around that we need to maintain this kind of environment? These questions and more will never be asked by me again. In fact, I possibly will never mention this again.

The Flu Vaccine

Each year at our school we are offered the flu vaccine and each year I reject it. My thinking is that the flu is not deadly, if I get it, I will survive. It's not that I am against vaccination. I have been vaccinated against a lot of things that I genuinely don't want, such as Hep B and polio and other childhood things, probably including tetanus. I don't like needles (who does?).

I have been sick for the past few days with a cold that could possibly be the flu. I have had an aching body, runny nose etc and just haven't felt too steady. I have taken some bed rest and the occasional paracetamol (which I normally rarely take) and I am beginning to feel much better. In fact I'm confident I will return to work tomorrow and all will be well.

Lot's of people have asked me why I didn't get the flu vaccine. I am not really old, the flu is not going to kill me. I have seen people get the flu vaccine and still get the flu, sometimes shortly after the vaccine. I just don't beleive in it. I have no medical knowledge or qualification to say this, but I just don't believe in it.

On the Australian Government health site about the flu vaccine, it says

"Most healthy adults recover from influenza within a few days but some people, especially those aged 65 and over, and those with certain chronic illnesses like heart or lung disease, can develop complications. These can include pneumonia or heart failure, which can be fatal. "

I am not over 65 and I don't have those mentioned diseases. So there you go!

On the Mend

Pa came home from hospital today. He has a lot of medication and still seems a little fragile, yet is so much improved from my last mention, it is unbelievable. He is so motivated. He got up and practised walking as soon as he could.

Each time I visited him he said, 'It's up to me to get out of here'. He takes responsibility for his fitness. I am so relieved and proud of him. I think we can all take that thought on board. I know myself at times I think I can fool goodness knows what by making poor nutritional choices or not exercising.

Since they gave him a date for coming home he mentally improved also. He had began to seem a little flat and bored when I visited and I could see he was feeling caged.
The legend lives on....

Waiting Rooms

Waiting Rooms are designed to drive me insane. I have spent a little time in them the last few days. I have completed a whole book sitting in a waiting room. That is the good thing about them. Now I know to bring a book, because the magazine selections are always poor and insulting. The chiropracter's waiting room is tolerable because the people waiting there are usually not contagious. If you go to a doctor's waiting room however, it always seems to me insane that all the sick people are hanging out together, waiting for so long. Who knows what you could catch? The name itself, "Waiting" how's that for setting you up for impatience? I guess it's better than the catch the flu room, which is how it feels sometimes in there.

By the way the book I finished was the short story collection by Margo Lanagan, "White Time". It was great. I can't say my favourites because I loved every one of them.

Dieting and Chocolate

I have being doing great with my exercising and have improved my fitness. I am using an exercise machine and started off being able to do 6 kms in 20 minutes and now can do over 8. It is taking a lot more to get my heart rate up and I feel generally better.

My diet however has not been sustained, so I am not losing any weight. I find low carb diets work well for me, but the chocolate always continues to beckon me. Low Carb chocolate is expensive and doesn't scratch the itch. I am going to have to just bite the bullet though and deprive myself of this pleasure to get the weight off.

I will have to satisfy myself with reading about it, perhaps at Chocolate Dreams.

Yoga Classes

Last night I returned to yoga. The teacher Mary, was my first yoga teacher. We had a yoga class at secondary school as an elective activity and I started when I was about 16. I have attended classes on and off throughout my life and I love it.
It has been a wonderful assistance in my life. The awareness of breath and my breathing has supported me in many of the critical times, such as exams and stressful times. The stretching is something that has always been a pleasure and given relief when I have been sore.
I enjoyed my class last night and Mary is amazing. I am glad to be making the time in my week for something so good for me.

Feedback, statistics, where am I?

Since I have returned from holidays, I have been on a quest to lose weight and get fit. I have already lost a few kilos, so it's going well.

I have an exercise machine and I have spent 20 minutes a day on it with my heart monitor and my mp3 player, sweating as much as I can. I intend to do some weight training and exercises soon, but want to get this cardio stuff made into a habit as that is my weakness physically. I find if I attempt to create large and complex habit, it soon evaporates.

I'm heading back to yoga next week, and I am excited about that too. I have done yoga on and off for many years and I love stretching and being flexible.

I have decided on the gradual approach as far as dieting goes. I am paying attention to what I am eating and reducing the chocolate intake, which was becoming enormous last year. Chocolate had become a daily staple rather than an occasional treat. I am cutting back mainly on sugar, and processed foods. Nothing extreme though, no measuring or weighing or excluding of any food types or groups. I generally eat a variety of food and am now eating less of that same variety, minus the extremely unhealthy foods. I am also having a protein drink for breakfast as it is easy for me to get into the habit of skipping it because I never feel hungry in the mornings. By morning tea I am starving and straight into the chocolate or any junk I can find at school, usually processed unhealthy food.

I think the thing that helps me most is that I have been weighing myself more regularly and entering stats into an excel spreadsheet. I had actually thrown my scales out and decided I would never diet again. It was a good theory, but it didn't work. I need to monitor myself. I gained too much weight whilst I wasn't watching. I have created a few measures and I record this daily. It is keeping me on track.

Patience

I received an amazing complement today. My masseur told me she thought I was a very patient person. She was surprised because I was having difficulty with a meridian that related to lack of patience. I knew it was true, but she was surprised. She used to work with me and found me to be a really patient person.
I am delighted that I have learnt to hide my impatience so well. I am amused that my body has given away the truth.
My massage was terrific though and I am feeling quite at ease in my body.
Perhaps I have become patient....
Anyway, that word keeps cropping up tonight. I'm seeing it everywhere, yet have no clue why.
In the spirit of it here are some quotes about patience, that are helping me to think it through.

Full Moon Wonderings

Ella has a cold. She is our beautiful whippet and last night she was coughing. I am not very experienced with dog illnesses so I was really concerned. I thought she had something really wrong. I wondered if family leave included pets. In the middle of the night I decided probably not and thought how unfair that is.