03 March 2006

What I loved about smoking....

I haven't smoked for 2 days. I feel - different. This is my 9th attempt to quit. I have tried hypnosis, nicotine patches, tabs and cold turkey. This time I have reduced my smoking over the last six months and I am quitting cold turkey. It is not so bad really to be honest. It is only 2 days though I guess. I want to be done with smoking for a lot of reasons. I want to be healthier and I want to live a long life. I want to allow my family to have relief from worrying about my health.
I loved stepping outside and smoking though. i loved looking up at the stars at night or sitting in the sunshine and enjoyed being outside smoking. I loved the pause that smoking gave me. The little time outs to do something I perceived as being for me. I know the reality though is that it is the worst thing for me and it doesn't calm me down, but actually stresses me out and I hope this time I will be done with it forever.
I have let go of many other self defeating habits and this is possibly one of the last really dangerous ones I have. I take good care of myself these days except for smoking.

1 comment:

Mary-Sue said...

you can do it! truly, you can! one moment at a time. i gave up sugar a few weeks back and it's still hard for me to not reach for it when i'm stressed, but reaching for a walk or a hug or a scream or a big steaming cup of tea makes me feel so much better long term...
thanks for your comment on my blog!