My Christmas 2007

I had a splendid day. I was tired from my trip. My beautifully cleaned home soon turned into a turbulent chaos of unpacking from the trip, gift wrapping and unwrapping. My kids were in and out all day. Their dad is walking distance from my house so we met up a few times during the day's activities. I have lots of great new possessions and have been showered with the love and generosity of my family and friends.

I enjoyed a great afternoon with my mum's family yesterday. I was the only niece/nephew at the extended family Christmas feast and I felt very special there too! Kind of funny to be the only child at 42. It was a more intimate meal that we are used to due to so many family members being away this year, yet I really enjoyed it more to be honest. Mum is one of eight children, so add spouses and offspring to that number and you can imagine how large it can get. We had real conversations with everyone included. We laughed heaps, shared news and had a scrumptious meal.

I remembered those who aren't with me but still firmly alive in my heart with love and gratitude. I communicated with absent loved ones via email or phone call at some stage of the day and felt peace and goodwill to all as I snuggled into bed last night. A perfect Christmas.

Girlosophy: The Breakup Survival Kit by Anthea Paul

'The Breakup Survival Kit' gives a well balanced action plan for girls who have split up, whatever the circumstances. It contains some good, common-sense advice for young women and lays a positive path for moving forward into a new future.

As with the other Girlosophy books by Anthea Paul, it has healthy suggestions and gentle messages about keeping your self-esteem in tact and building on it in a situation that can be demanding. It has beautiful images and although a smaller format than the other Girlosophy books remains true to the uplifting philosophy and beauty of the series.

I enjoyed this book and highly recommend it for both young women and men to help to gain perspective during one of those trying times in life. Breaking-up is a big life challenge and most people experience it at least once in their life, this little book contains many wisdom's that can ease that passage.

Restorative Justice

Tonight we had a speaker talk to us about 'Restorative Justice'. Terry O'Connell came to our school to run a session and it was a bit of a shame that only about a quarter of the teachers attended, because it was brilliant. I totally agree with most of what he said and I can't wait to explain it to my students and practise it with next year. I am going to be one of the year 9 co-coordinators next year.

The result of the no compromise situation, I ended up getting the position I wanted!

The power of restorative justice, I feel is that it is relationship building. It also gives all involved to have a learning experience. This is the kind of environment I want to work in and belong to. Read the article in the link about Terry because it outlines more about what this system is about. It works equally in all relationships I imagine and I had a play with it tonight with my son over a small situation and found the questions very satisfying and the outcome pleasing.

I have learnt more in the last three days than I have in a long time. My brain feels very satisfied! It's wonderful when you have highly productive learning experiences. A great high for me and rare too! Often it can be tedious and hard to get through, yet both courses I have attended were really interesting and useful.

I didn't get home from work until late and have mounds of corrections so I am beginning to feel a little under the hammer.

'Lies', 'Once' and personal clips

Last night I went to see 'Once', I have reviewed it on 'Falling Brick'.
This is a track from the film called 'Lies'.
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This YouTube clip is a scene from the film that particularly touched me. On IMDb I read about the film, it mentioned in the trivia the clip was of the director, John Carney's real girlfriend. This added to the appeal of the film for me. It was a very real and amazing film.

I love to make clips for people I love. I have just finished making one and sent it to Andy in Tasmania. I want to edit it already! Little snippets of our time together through my eyes. He probably hasn't even seen it yet. Lucky he never reads my blog - would blow the surprise.

Last Christmas I made one for Jane and we added a Christmas message to the end of the collage. She lives interstate, so it was fun to do. I love that too. I made one for my Pa's funeral that is particularly special to me. I have promised family members to distribute it to them. I must do that soon.

I started off making them for my homeroom class and giving a copy to each child as a gift for the end of the year. A couple of my year 9s have told me they still watch them and treasure the one I made for them in year 7. They are just really collages of photos and small videos taken with a still camera. The limitation of 30 seconds that my digital camera has, makes for easy editing. I then edit them in Microsoft Movie Maker. As I said, it is a very simple and inexpensive way to give a meaningful gift. Microsoft also have a program called Photo Story, if you only have photos.

This year at school, my digital storytelling class is making a clip for each homeroom. They are doing a great job. Some of them are using Flash and I am getting them to teach me about it as I haven't used it before.

I am Done with Compromise

"In a relationship, when does the art of compromise, become compromising?" Sarah Jessica Parker

"We all have a childhood dream that when there is love, everything goes like silk, but the reality is that marriage requires a lot of compromise."Raquel Welch

So who is right? Sarah or Raquel?
A man I adored had this saying as his mantra, 'Life's a compromise', he would say, frequently. It never sat well with me. I am a win/win or no deal kind of person. However I went along, thinking perhaps that way is right. I wondered, maybe I'm stubborn, unco-operative or difficult to get along with? The compromises didn't work out. It drained me. I was never quite happy with the compromises. I find some are laziness in regards to ourselves, leaving both involved dissatisfied.

"If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is compromise." Robert Fritz

If you take the time, communicate the truth and remain open to other solutions, you can usually find something that meets needs. If you can't and that is continuous, I think you are in the wrong place. The truth is, if it is only half what you want or some other mix, it usually isn't what you want at all.

"Don't compromise yourself, you're all you've got" Janis Joplin

Today I was offered a position very similar to the one I applied for at my school. Same wage, same type of job, different location. I have promised my son I would not work at the school he now attends, which was exactly where this was. I would consider working there in the future. He has one year to go. I had to turn it down. I may not get a leadership position now.

I feel really good about my decision. Had I accepted the compromise, I would now be trying to convince my son, it would be OK. I would be hoping it would be OK. I know this is not the kind of start I would want in a challenging new job. I love what I do now and am happy to keep doing it.

Haircut

It's a song by the Waifs. I like it. The song and my haircut. I have cut it all off short. Not with the same spirit of contempt as the song. I don't feel like that at all. I'm not angry, just sad.

I had an enjoyable visit from June today and we laughed about hair. Hers is long at present and she was commenting on how much attention she gets from men and attributes it to the long hair. I know when my hair has grown long, it's always been the men in my life, partners, son, father, pa who have balked at the suggestion of getting it all cut off. I think it's funny, cause my hair grows long, when I am neglecting my appearance.

Andy has a job in Tassie now, so I accept he's not coming back soon. Damn it!

Signs of Letting Go

So yesterday I read the column about de-cluttering, referred to in my last post. Ruth was pondering parting with the lock of the boyfriends hair and it seemed like it was going to be released the way the article was going.

Tonight I watched episode 13 of season one of The Gilmour Girls(I'm loving this right now and have secured for a winter of watching, season's 2 & 3). It was the episode where they go to The Bangles concert. Ah the memories of walking like an Egyptian!

Anyway Luke gave his exes sparkly jacket to the junk sale and Lorelei bought it, attracted as she was to the sparkles and wore it without realising it belonged to his ex-girlfriend and he reacted and she found out about the ex and demonstrated some interest in him by being obsessively curious about her. Are you following this?

I could relate to the obsessively curious borderline jealous thing. Then she did the totally understanding and mature thing and gave him back the sweater, I so wish I had done something this mature and together once in my life around the jealous issue thing. I know there have been moments when I could have, just the moment always passed before I managed to put it into action.

So Ruth let go, Luke didn't, the signs are there. This weekend I have let go of shabby linen that has been bulking up my storage space. Oh and piles of leftover dry biscuits that were the last ones in the pack and kept getting stuffed into the air tight container. There must have been 20 or so plastic wrappers with one salada in it. They were all stale though, so I'm questioning whether the airtight container, is in fact air tight. Perhaps the container should go too.

Kazakhstan and 'The Zahir'

I have to admit, I had barely heard of Kazakhstan before Borat the film came along. I haven't seen Borat and I don't imagine I will. It doesn't sound like my kind of entertainment. I have noticed though that I have been noticing this place more and more in the streams of information that pass by me.

I have recently read a book that was in part set in Kazakhstan called 'The Zahir' by Paolo Coelho. I totally enjoyed the book. It was about relationships. I love Paolo Coelho's books and have read all bar about three of them. I am contemplating rereading some of them actually because they have so much in them. This latest read was about obsession and love and I enjoyed reading it. There is more I want to learn about it and I have given a lot of thought to many of the ideas in the book.

I recently read this article on one of my favourite blogs:Inhabitat:Norman Foster's Entertainment Centre in Kazakhstan

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Zefrank's Learning Strategies

Zefrank has some seriously good ideas delivered in his usual frank and delightful way. I am a fan.

Interestingly he uses divorced people as a metaphor and after spending a really positive evening with my ex-husband, current family and friends and ex-in-laws last night to celebrate my wonderful 18 year old's birthday, I know it works, interestingly enough. Watch the video, it may make sense. If not - Oh well. It was a great night.

News articles about online love

ABC News
York Daily Record

Go to Google News

These first two articles came to my attention today so I went to Google News and was quite surprised by the number of articles. It's feeling very mainstream to me now. I guess enough has been said!

Internet Matchmaker

I am enjoying watching one of my closest friends have her first experience of using online dating websites. It is an exciting time and full of promise. I recommended this to her because I have found it to be the best and most enjoyable way to find a partner. It has a bit of cringe factor for some people still. I guess if you have not wanted to meet a partner in the last 10+ years, you would have no need, therefore see fit to criticise it or find it 'wierd'. The other people who are not into it are people who will never read this blog because they haven't yet learnt to use a computer. Needless to say, they are never gonna do it.
I found it a great way to meet my partner. I loved the time when we were getting to know each other via email. It was sweet and gentle and romantic. The first telephone conversation, our first meeting and so on, was all gradual and made the process delightful and lasting.
Perhaps I was very lucky. I only met one other person I communicated with online, and at that first meeting, knew instantly there was no real attraction. It was challenging to have to say that, but no worse than saying no to someone you have met anywhere.
This leads me to a point I want to make, meeting and relating to someone online is the same as any other way. If you find it difficult to trust, it will be the same in real life as it is online. If you are desperate, gullible, if you fantasize, if you are afraid of commitment, intimacy, success, whatever, the internet will not magically transform or hide that. If you are going to have problems in relationships, they will still be there. It is just a convenient way to meet, minus the scene you don't want to be in(insert club,pub,mother's/friends blind date whatever applies) but for wanting to find a partner.
This weekend another friend I recommended online dating to, is getting married. She is 60ish and hadn't had someone special in her life for the 5+ years I had known her. She is very happy. This is why I recommend it and enjoy sharing my positive experience with others. It's great to see people happy and in love.

Five Years In One Job

I just realised this morning I have been a teacher for five years this July. I am not beginning anymore. This is the longest time I have been in a job. I have had a couple of different roles in the five years to make the challenges vary, but essentially it has been one job.
I love teaching though because there is always change and variety as well as different kinds of challenges. There is freedom for creativity and problem solving, which are essentials to me in the work I like to do. I would have to say that the thing that I feel has always been important in every job I have had and is crucial in teaching is being able to build positive relationships and interact with others.
There has been changes in staff, but I have had relationships with other teachers for that time also. It feels like a family really and a large one! You learn how to work with one another and can rely on the strengths of them as well as learn tolerance for the weaknesses.
I am glad I took this path. It hasn't always been easy, but has usually been enjoyable and rewarding.

Family

My brother Brendan is heading up to Townsville tomorrow. I have 4 brothers and a sister. We are all very different and don't see that much of each other. Brendan is the brother I see the least of and he has lived away from the family most of his life. He has been home at my parents for a couple of months. He was living in NT. He is also quiet and hasn't got a lot to say. We have little in common and very different lifestyles. Yet being my brother means I can pop into mum and dad's and borrow his sleeping bag from him to go to school camp like I did a few weeks ago. He can ask me to type up a resume for him, which I haven't done yet, but will today. It is the same with all my siblings. I see my sister Kate the most and enjoy her bright personality and have quite a close relationship with her.
I know if I needed any of my brothers or sister's help, I would have it if I asked and they would in turn have mine. We shared a childhood. On Christmas day, most of us usually get together and laugh together about the memories. We phone each other sometimes on our birthdays, but not always. We see each other at extended family occasions. Our lives are not really entwined externally but in my heart they are.
There is a wide range in our ages from me (40) to Kate (24) so it makes our family life interesting. The six of us all have different lifestyles and jobs. It makes diverse conversation when we are all together. We find links through people we know and share stories about now and the past and enjoy being together. We can quickly resume our childhood roles and it is fun to do that occasionally.
I admire my parents their ability to let us all go and keep a good relationship with all of us without interfering in our lives or trying to control us. It is probably what keeps us all returning home willingly and happily. I hope I can be like them with my own children.

The Upside of Anger

I really enjoyed this movie. I strongly identified with the main character. Not that my husband died and I thought he'd left me for another woman, but I have been equally outraged about wrong assumptions and she was just playing it out to an extreme scenario. She was angry and wrong and hurt and wrong and fabulously self indulgent and witty and wrong. I have been all those things before and it really made me think to watch someone else do it in such a spectacular way.

My wonderful fairy godmother Auntie Angela said to me once that the great thing in life is that she is so often wrong. Most of the hurts and pains and negative things we imagine are wrong. It would be great if I could keep that in mind in future. When you are hurt or imagining some betrayal or slight, it is very difficult to suppose you could be wrong. I intend to do that though. That is my intention.