Daylight Savings Blues

It was a rough start to the work week for me today. The students noticed the clock reading quarter to eight and we all sat around in homeroom in a bit of a daze, imagining that just a week ago, we'd have had an extra hour in bed. We never considered we'd have gone to bed an hour earlier as well.

Having the delightful time at camp last week, meant catching up with my other classes and the notices and such that go on when you are out for three days. I noticed a few others were dragging their feet a little also around me. Sometimes we just have days like these I guess.

I do love daylight savings though. I have always looked forward to those extra daylight hours that give the impression of more time. Perhaps it is more useful time. I'm not sure. History tells me I will come to like it.

The one year I wasn't a fan was when I was cutting asparagus for a season. We began work at sunrise and daylight savings effectively meant finishing an hour later.

All in all though, there are still 24 hours in the day. No matter how it feels.

New Moon and Partial Solar Eclipse - 11th September 2007

Nothing to see this time folks...
This eclipse will only be seen from parts of South America, Antarctica and the South Atlantic.
Diving Gracefully
I found this article about the astrology of this period and I feel like I am falling rather than diving gracefully as the article suggests one should do. I am about the age of 42 and as suggested, perhaps I am having a mid-life crisis. More likely I am just tired and coming to terms with a thing or two. I know I will get above this melancholy and resistance to the changes occurring in my life. Only 9 school days left of this term. Reports to write, parent interviews, a deb ball to attend added to the usual routine means my holidays will be a fitting reward.
Highly Charged Date
September 11th is a date we all shudder to hear. Six years ago...I remember that day facing a class of students and trying to make sense of what they'd seen on TV before coming to school that day. I hadn't been teaching long, probably about 12 months (I was a late starter at 35). Not an event we'd ever want to see repeated anywhere on the planet.
On a Lighter Note
My son is no longer in Ja'mie's top friends on MySpace. He was booted today. He took it well.
I got loaned a copy of the sequel to "Don't Call Me Ishmael". 'Ishmael and the Return of the Dugongs", I am told is even funnier. I could do with a laugh.

Celebrating Spring

I'm glad August is done. It has been a very ordinary month for me. I've been home sick or sad more than I've been at work it feels like. I am really fed up with it. I actually love my job and the kids I teach, so I have been pretty flat the last couple of days. I guess there was just too much to deal with last month.

My tulips are popping up. One of my students brought a handful of tulips (his mother deposited them at the office)for me last week. I love them. Andy planted a dozen bulbs for me last year and this will be my second bunch of flowers from him. It's fun to watch them arrive as they are right now.

Today I went for a stroll (there was nothing brisk about it) to the local shops in the sunshine. I haven't exercised for so long and I had to get out of the house. I was starting to feel sorry for myself-blah! I wore my hat and sunnies and I'm glad I did because I read The Age: Victorians need to slip, slop, slap in Spring.

"Victorians are being warned not to leave their sun protection until summer with the Cancer Council of Victoria saying ultraviolet (UV) ray levels are already at a point where they can cause damage leading to skin cancer."

I listened to some podcasts I had downloaded. I love my iPod. I had an mp3 player but itunes is so easy to use. I have subscribed to some of the ABC radio programs and I have all my music on it.

Rhonda came over and it was great to have a laugh with her. The beginning of the new season I am declaring a fresh start for myself.

Sick Again!!

I had to come home from school today as I began vomming (as my son calls it) again. This is the third time in the last month I have experienced this. I cried tears of frustration and had to be picked up by my parents just like a school kid. Lucky they could do that for me. I have slept all day and am trying not to spend the little energy I have right now on being cranky.

Mercury Goes Forward..

Anyone who is into astrology would probably know that Mercury has been through a retrograde period from 15th June to 9th July. So it has gone direct now. My communications don't seem to have got the memo about this however. My phone has stopped working. Yesterday I was trying to get in touch with my significant others who are scattered about the country and experienced a number of frustrating attempts back and forward to get basic information I needed. Mobiles had gone flat, others were out of range, each call came when I was driving or in some other way unable to hear or get to it. Grrrr. So much for mass communications.

Home Insurance in Gippsland

Two of my friends have been shopping for household contents insurance in the last week or so. Both have mentioned to me they can't find an insurance company willing to ensure anyone in Gippsland due to the floods. I remember the last time I looked into insurance, the person on the phone read to me the list of situations where the insurance wouldn't cover damage. After hearing all the exceptions, I decided against it. I couldn't think of much that could happen that would be covered.
On the news this evening it mentioned that many of those who had their homes damaged by the flood waters were finding they weren't covered by their insurance policies.
Perhaps all the people in Gippsland should check their policies and stop paying their premiums if it is of no value to them.

Joss Stone CD

I just bought a Joss Stone CD that I have been wanting for ages and I can't play it on my computer in Media Player. I don't have any other CD player! What is the point of buying a CD if you can't play it? Grrrrrrr.

So, even though I have the CD, I still have the pleasure of listening to it, to look forward to.

Waiting Rooms

Waiting Rooms are designed to drive me insane. I have spent a little time in them the last few days. I have completed a whole book sitting in a waiting room. That is the good thing about them. Now I know to bring a book, because the magazine selections are always poor and insulting. The chiropracter's waiting room is tolerable because the people waiting there are usually not contagious. If you go to a doctor's waiting room however, it always seems to me insane that all the sick people are hanging out together, waiting for so long. Who knows what you could catch? The name itself, "Waiting" how's that for setting you up for impatience? I guess it's better than the catch the flu room, which is how it feels sometimes in there.

By the way the book I finished was the short story collection by Margo Lanagan, "White Time". It was great. I can't say my favourites because I loved every one of them.

Full Moon Eclipse?

I sure it has been the full moon eclipse business that has totally ruffled me this week. I have been tired, cranky, sad and unmotivated with no apparent reason. I have continued to exercise, but have not eaten well or recorded any stats. I have burnt meals and done last minute rushed shopping frequently.

I've had weird dreams about people I'm not really fond of and found them unexpectedly turning up in reality the next day, when I never see them and I like it like that. I haven't felt like doing any writing or creative stuff, much less disassembling the mounds of dirty clothes and trails of where I've been through the house.

Maybe it was the scary thunderstorm last night when my son was down the street and beloved was riding home on his dirt bike. I imagined all sorts of disasters striking either one of them, even whilst I knew it was saner and more pleasant to 'think positive thoughts'. Perhaps it was the heat and the rain making the heat kind of sticky rather than refreshing as I was hoping it would be.

Could be it was letting go of my daughter on the weekend and talking to her on the phone and hearing that she was tired, busy and sounded just a little overwhelmed and I couldn't get to her in an instant to help. Yet because I was moving house with daughter on the weekend I didn't do a great job of my housework and I was disorganised.

Not to mention all the consequences that flow on from those things such as not being totally prepared to teach each lesson and so getting further behind at school, or that there have been quite a fewinterruptions at school this week, such as swimming carnivals and thinkfests, all wonderful and important things that I love, yet interrupt the flow.

The good thing is that I woke this morning and thought, it's feeling better, and today was. It was much better. I achieved a lot and feel good.

Investments in Learning

My daughter, very conscientious human that she is, signed up to do some extra study during the holidays to prepare herself for her VCE exams that are coming up. She applied to a well known University about 150kms away. She woke early on Monday morning and caught the train, only to get a phonecall on her mobile about an hour before the course was due to start, to say they had overbooked and they didn't have a spot for her. She had arranged accomodation for herself for the three days in the city and was well organised. The uni have debited the money for this course from the Visa card and although it is three days later, no refund has appeared. She was quite devastated.
I was altogether unsurprised and others I have discussed this with have expressed a similar belief that universities in general are not the best at customer service. As courses become more expensive I find myself wondering if it is all worth it.
Interestingly I read this today:What's the ROI on an MBA When You're in the SEO Industry?. I hope people begin to question more, what is the return on the investment.
I have attended uni, tafe, adult education and lots of privately ran courses. I am a bit of a course addict actually, or at least I was until I started blogging:-). I honestly found my uni course to be the least quality or ROI. I guess that peice of paper one needs for many professions, that is only available at a uni, is the edge they have. As far the actual learning though or the growth gained, uni's didn't rate for me.
I guess I am just always cranky when people are not treated with respect.

More time please

Right now I would like more time in my day.
I have so much I want to do and feel that I am rushing through from task to task and feeling impatient with things that waste any little second. The meeting schedule at work seems to have doubled this year and I can't understand why.
I know we have new curriculum to implement but we have better paid 'servant' leaders with larger time allowances and they are covering a smaller range than previous curriculum leaders had to, which by rights should save time.
A lot of the meetings are covering information that could be easily distributed in other ways. I find it highly amusing that we expect students to meet deadlines and learn new things yet there seems to be no trust or expectations that teachers can do this.
Often there really isn't room for imput or consultation and 'pretending' that is what a meeting is about is just insulting and annoying.
I should write all this on my work blog I suppose but it's probably not politically correct and I really haven't got time to discuss this with anyone right now- I am just having a vent! PS:
I have no photo of that but if you can imagine for a moment a cranky looking woman sitting in a meeting with too many other people to be effective silently grumbling to herself about why people still need to complain about things that are inevitable or explain blow by blow what they do in a classroom as if they are not in a room full (and I mean full) of people who do virtually the same things, yet don't need to go into detail about it, every chance they get. I mean who are they trying to convince?
Mmm I have gone on and on.

Hump Day

Wednesday is meant to be hump day apparently. You get over Wednesday and then the rest of the week is downhill. So the theory goes. When Tuesday feels like Wednesday though, like mine did yesterday I feel as though it should be over already!
Last night when I looked up the link for Harkaway Primary, I sent off an email to Mr Hess the principal, who is still the principal, to thank him for the great memories we have of our time at that school. It seems it has not lost it's small family friendly feel because tonight I got an email back along with photo's and an invite to call in next time we're passing through. It was a sweet spot in a full on day.
Today has just been busy and annoying mostly. Lots of tempers are fraying out and about and mine is no exception. I feel tired and verging on unwell, but I know this will pass and I intend to have an early night to be sure.

Dullness

It was overcast here today and this seems to have set the tone for my day. Perhaps it was the sleeping pattern I had developed over the holidays, but I was tired and lethargic. I felt frustrated by the behaviour of many people around me today, but sadly not frustrated enough to bother doing anything about it. I feel tired and 'can't be bothered'. Perhaps it is the impending eclipse on Wednesday. Don't know.....
Ho hum....
Well, I think I'll get an early night and tomorrow can be a bright new day.
I have to confess I am smoking again. Quite regularly too. Have been for a week or so. Will try again soon to quit.
Went to chiropractor today. Was the best part of the dull day. I love that crunch and the relief it brings. Never thought the day would come when I would say that!

Suburbia!

Went to Melbourne yesterday, not the city, the suburbs. We had errands to do in a couple of places and I found it to be similar to my previous experiences. Unpleasant! I am always pleased when I return home. Traralgon is getting busier, traffic wise and growth is expanding in all directions housing wise, but it is still a much prettier place.
Perhaps it was because it was a Monday, but it seemed depressing. The big shopping centres seemed falsely bright and glitzy. I really don't like shopping centres. I don't like the lack of natural light and air to breathe. I left the centres at both suburbs and walked around the CBD's and found them to be very depressing. Abandoned shops and grimy streets with too much noise and traffic. People rushing by with no feel of community, but perhaps it is just because I can't walk 500 metres in Traralgon without seeing a student or someone I know. That sometimes seems tiresome, but I appreciate it more after yesterday. People in rural parts stop and talk to one another, smile and give you eye contact. It's pleasant.

Feeling Ordinary

That is a mild way of saying I am not a happy camper at present. I don't know why even and that is annoying also. I have some theories. I have two weeks holidays right now and I should be ecstatic about that but I think they have come too soon and I am not organised for them. We are not going away and perhaps that is it also, but I like spending one holiday at home usually. I am going to put it down to just one of those flat times and let it be ok and hope it passes soon.

School Camp with yr 7

Tomorrow I am off on school camp. I have been feeling very reluctant about it. I have been going on school camps for 5 years now and I think I may have had enough of it. I felt more enthused about it today because I genuinely want the kids to have a great time. Whilst trying to pacify their fears and get them enthused and excited I worked the magic on my own mind, which was good.

It is a lot of hard work though. I have to organise my classes that I will miss in my absence, plan my home to be away for 3 days and then be 'mommy' to 28 kids for 3 days and if I am lucky their parents will pick them up on time allowing me to get home before I drop. When I get home, because I have been away for 3 days I have to deal with catch up there. Then on Monday I will get to see whether the teachers who were taking my classes, actually stuck to the plan and the work got done. I hate feeling this cynical but I have been on camp and rarely experienced a variation to this routine.

It will be ok though because it is warm and I will get to do lots of great activities and be in nature and hopefully see independence and team building and all those inspiring wonderful things that I remember when I am asked if I am available to go on camp. It reminds me of childbirth really. You forget until it's time to go! Lucky for that or my beautiful son wouldn't be around. No, it wasn't actually as bad as school camp - childbirth that is.

I will post a favourite photo when I get back, I promise and I haven't forgotten the mask yet. I'm saving it for one day when I feel particularly lost for words.

Upsets

Last week was challenging for me. I know I have learnt from the past though because I looked after myself. I had a massage last night, which was great. I continued doing my exercises. I continued to eat as healthy as I could be bothered with. I took some time out during the week and I feel like I am recovering from the upsets. I have had to really search my own behaviour and motives. All Upsets are Opportunities to Know the Truth. Some of the truths I didn't really want to know!
I love my workplace. I totally enjoy being a teacher and many of my fellow teachers have become very dear friends to me. This week I have learnt who is amongst the people who surround me. I remember other times in my life when I have had this chance to see who's who in my life. The reliable, perceptive friends who let you blurt out all your anger and hurt and give that valuable feedback and the sheep who go off to find a new person to kiss up to. I kind of knew who they were anyway. There were few surprises and they were mostly pleasant.

Change

I have had a really crap time at work over the past week. I have felt hurt and angry about it.

It has been a really good opportunity to assess what I am doing and to get clear about my priorities as these things are. I have remembered I love my family, I love my home and I love teaching.